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February 10th, 2006, 12:37 PM
LilMsDrama's Avatar
LilMsDrama LilMsDrama is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 6
I had to respond to this post. My husband died in October and I watched him die in a similar way - only he had no pacemaker to "revive" him. It was not fun, nor was it pleasant. There was no way to revive him due to blood backing up from his lungs into his esophagus and, of course, out of his mouth. CPR would've just pushed the blood back into his lungs choking him further.

Yes, hug your husbands tight every night and tell them how much you love them. Make plans NOW for what you want to have done in case the other passes away unexpectedly. It's not morbid - it's life. Had Cliff and I not had discussions about things, I wouldn't have known he wanted to be cremated and he would've been buried. He had no life insurance and it cost over $20,000 for the no-frills funeral and all of the expenses which his parents took out a loan to pay for. I ended up having to quit school and go to work full time. My point is to take care of these things now. You don't want to have an unexpected death to be a burden on your new family. The widow BB's are full of people talking about all they got was $255 in social security to bury their spouses which, like I said, was not nearly enough. Talk about your burial and death plans now. If possible, go to a local funeral home and make monthly payments on everything. It'll all be paid off in 5-10 years and your family won't have a thing to worry about other than grieving their loss if something happens to you or your spouse. My grandfather did this and it took a lot of burden off of the rest of us. Since his was so old, all we ended up having to pay for was his embalming and transferring of his body from one city to his chosen resting place.

I am going to be a new mommy soon too. Unfortunately, this is not my late husband's baby or else I would be eligible for some sort of social security benefits for him. I have no means of taking care of this child so I will be going back to work within the week he's born (I make too much money for gov't assistance and I have no insurance at my work since I'm a "temp").

What I'm saying is to take the precautions now. It's not fair to those in mourning to have to deal with these decisions as they will be in shock and regret a lot of decisions made (I regretted the choice of minister who, instead of memorializing my DH decided to try to convert the non-Christians). It could've been prevented if we had planned ahead more.

Please think about it.
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My late husband Cliff

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