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February 11th, 2006, 07:04 PM
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lilmamaw2 lilmamaw2 is offline
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K" so i'm 8m or 33wks however you want to look at it and i know i've already talked to my hubby and we worked every thing out but i'm so scared what if he feels one way now and different later well i should tell you the sitiuation this sounds really bad and i totally hate my self for it but i cheated on my husband and this lil girl might not be his i was really drunk ( a whole bottle of hurricane by my-self ) well i was mad at my hubby for what ever the reason that night and he left and went to work one of my used to be guy friends stoped by and i was venting and me being totally stupid said "i hate him (my hubby) so much right now i should just go out and cheat on him find someone new" well next thing i know my guy friend is kissing on my neck and i was so drunk i was like what are you doing i'm married he said he's an a** you said yourself you wanted to cheat on him so their i sat with him kissing me and me totally regreating what i knew was about to happen and i was so drunk i just kept saying i shouldn't be doing this i'm married and he kept saying shh... you'll be ok so to make a long story short i found out i was pregnant a month later and it could be my friends that i dont talk to any more or my hubby's my husband was mad at firs and then when i said i'd leave cuz i didnt want to put him through it and i didnt need to go through it while i was pregnat and he said no your my wife and dillon is my son and this baby is my baby weather it is or not dont take that from me you and dillon are my life and i want to be there for my kids so dont leave, and your right i shouldn't call you names we're married and i should treat you like you're my wife cuz i know that never would of happend if you were sober and if you wasn't so mad at me so please stay" so any way i've stayed with him cuz he's the one i love and would never normally do any thing to ever risk loosing he's my life him and dillon me and my hubby have been together for 5yr in may and i'm so scared that when the baby gets here and if she comes out mixed (the guy i cheated w/ is black) that he might realize that this isn't his problem and not something he has to do and bail i know it's my fault but i told him right from the start that if he had any doubts that he had to let me go way back then so i wasnt left with a newborn and a toddler (which i know would never be a problem cuz dillon is his life and he would never do without) but then here i'd have this lil girl who doesn't deserve any of this all because i got drunk and did something so stupid belive me she is totally wanted by me and my husband but i'm just worried that he might change his mind when the reality of it sets in if its not his then what am i gonna do i wont stay with him if he starts doing for my son and leaves her out i'll leave him if that happens i dont think he would but i'm so worried that it might happen that way so any ways thanks for your time and suggestions if you have any on how should i bring this up to him if i even should
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