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February 16th, 2006, 06:23 PM
Join Date: Feb 2006
I'm so happy you got to feel that little bump!! Just wait! Before you know it, that little bump will become a big bulge and you'll look like you swallowed a watermelon in no time! You'll probably start to feel baby kick sometime soon also...probably in the next month! Woohoo!!
Question...Has your b/f told his daughter about the new baby yet?? Is she maybe the one who's not happy about the baby and could that be where he's getting this idea she'll be mad about it? (By the way, I'm still looking for books you can get for him to read...so far I'm finding it sort of difficult! I'm trying to find something that's appropriate for his situation but I'm not finding anything, but the search isn't over yet!!)...
The thing is, at some point, he's going to have to come to the realization that having another baby isn't a betrayal to his other daughter...I mean, think of how many parents have kids for a second time!! Millions and millions!!! She will get over it! I know it sounds mean, but it's true!
And don't worry, you absolutely don't sound jealous. In every post you've written, you've been VERY accepting of his daughter and you've made it very clear you don't want to take him away from her. All you're asking for is for him to pay a little more attention to this one on the way...and sweetie, you're DEFINATELY not asking for too much.
Does he honestly think he's being a better parent to his daughter by ignoring the other one on the way? What is he teaching her? What sort of image is he portraying for her by doing that? How is she ever going to be prepared for the fact that she's going to be a big sister in a few months? I mean, what on earth is he hoping to accomplish by ignoring one child to cater to the needs and feelings of another?
It's time for him to stop sheltering his daughter from the inevitable, because he's not doing her any good at all! He's just going to end up hurting her more in the end. If he doesn't prepare her for what's about to come, she'll resent him even more for those times when she kind of has to swing by herself for a few minutes while daddy changes a diaper or tends to a crying baby...(of course I'm not saying he's going to leave her by herself, but if the baby like, interrupts a game they're playing, or a movie they're watching together...)...He needs to realize that involving her in this process is the best way to go! Getting her excited about the baby, asking her how she feels about it, get her opinion on what names she likes...Get her involved! After all, this is going to be her baby sister or brother!!
Not only this, but what does he think he's doing with the one on the way? Is this going to continue long after baby's born? No child should ever come second to another!
It's time to sit him down and have a talk. It's time to ask where this baby fits into his life, how exactly he plans on being a dad for two instead of just one...What you need to realize on your part, honey, is that this is no longer just you...This is your baby too, and you're this kids only voice. It's your responsibility also to make sure that this kid's got everything he/she needs and you're not being an annoying g/f or a baby by sitting him down and forcing the conversation on him at this point. You're in no position to just sit around and wait for him to get his priorities straight. It's time to put your foot down. If he's not willing to make more of an effort to get involved, then show him the door and tell him not to come back until he's ready to fully be a dad...not just a half a** dad to only one of his two children. He's hurting you, he's hurting the baby, he's hurting himself, and without knowing it, he's actually hurting his daughter too by not teaching her about family values and love for a sibling.
Sweetie, I've been reading your posts for quite some time now, and you've been so incredibly giving to this guy. Please, it's time to start thinking about yourself and stop keeping your emotions bottled up inside around him. He MUST abosultely be given a big huge reality check...he needs to know his behaviour isn't appropriate!
I wish I could go over there and yell at him for you..lol but unfortunately, that's not my job! Even though I'm really good at it!! hehe! It's so sad to hear you say that you can't talk to him about all the joys you're experiencing in this pregnancy. It's no fair, considering he's still around. He may as well just take off if he won't even really acknowledge this beaner. What's he sticking around for? You and the baby deserve more attention from him. Good luck sweetie! I'm sorry if this isn't really what you want to hear. You can take my advice or leave it...I won't be offended or anything...I just hate seeing you hurt like this. Chin up, no matter what happens, you've got a beautiful baby inside and that's all that really matters right!
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