Denied Access.... Again
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January 10th, 2009, 09:30 AM
Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Speaking from personal experience w/ not only my son but from my DH's son.
When a kid is sick, it's usually bio-mom that handles it, not the bio-dad. Usually when a kid is injured or ill, they want to be w/ their mom. Now if it's life & death, obviously you want both parties there, but if it's a bump on the head, pink eye, stomach flu, ear infection etc. JMO.
When ever my son is sick, he does not go w/ his father. He stays home in his house, in his room, in his bed, and recovers. I take him to the doctors, I take him to get the medications, I do it all. Always have. My ex doesn't do that. If my DS gets sick in the middle of being w/ his dad on a weekend, his father will call me & I pick up my DS & bring him to the doctors & take him back home w/ me. Visitation is done for the remainder of the weekend. Just the way it's been w/ me. Same as w/ my DH & his ex wife & their son, if their child is sick, he stays home w/ her, and he doesn't see his son, and that's that. Everyone else I talk too that is in the same situation around me, same rules pretty much apply. They aren't to be vindictive or rude or trying to keep the child isolated or from the father, it's just a matter of "mommy knows best" (usually).
Now, my ex does have a copy of my DS' medical insurance card, so if something happened & I wasn't around, he could take my DS to the doctors or the ER. But again, it's always been me.
I know it may "seem" vindictive. And perhaps in your situation it is? but I am speaking from my experiences & from my DH's experiences w/ his ex wife (which isn't even mine) and my friends. They are all the same.
I know that it's time taken away from the child & father, and that is not fair too, and dad probably feels like he's capable of caring for the child when the child is hurt or sick just as much, but... kids usually want to be w/ their mother. I know my DS has always said "when I'm sick I want to come home mom"... when he's not sick, he never asks to come home. He loves to stay w/ his dad. It's just one of those things.
Sorry you feel like she's denying you. Maybe think of it as how I've just explained it?
Yesterday my son was sent home from school w/ an ear ache & fever, he also got pink eye & when we brought him to the doctors he got medication & now has the stomach flu. This weekend he was "suppose" to be w/ his dad & dad was "suppose" bring him to BBall & Religious Ed. but he isn't b/c he's sick. He understands too. At first he used to be upset but it's normal now.
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