How do I convince DH
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January 28th, 2009, 01:54 AM
Join Date: Oct 2008
If the facts aren't doing it... try the stuff in the 'Convincing DH thread' and if that doesn't work, you can always try my sister or my tactic...
My sister basically told her husband "when its your uterus, you can decide where you deliver, but since this baby is in my body... I get do decide and you can support me or get over it"
I basically told dh... "When we get pg (we were still ttc at the time...actually we were pg just didn't know it yet) one of two things WILL happen with this baby. You will either do ALL the homework and know what I will tolerate and what I won't tolerate, what interventions I will accept and which ones I wont...and why. You will then grow a spine and become the alpha male protector wolf and defend my decisions to the death........ or we'll be having this baby at home"
Both of our husbands agreed to a homebirth, but you should have seen the look on my husbands face. He was FIRMLY against homebirth before that conversation... I guess he realised how serious I was about not birthing in a hospital again.
Basically, I would show your husband all the statistics and studies and then have a real heart to heart with him. Tell him that your body was made to do this and child birth is a natural, physiological process, not a condition that needs to be monitored and treated by a surgeon (which is what an OB/GYN is... they are trained to find and treat pathology, which is not what a normal pregnancy is). Find a midwife and enlist their help as the pp suggested. The biggest thing is (in my opinion) is to be blatently honest about your feelings on the matter. You've already had one natural childbirth, so its not like you're trying to convince your dh to let you HBAC (which can be very scary for husbands, especially if the previous c/s was traumatic or emergent). Then be patient with him, they've had as much indoctrination as the rest of the world that the only safe place to have a baby is the hospital.
Also, I'd recomend getting the dvd "Pregnant In America" and having him watch it. Its made BY a dad-to-be and has more experts and information that you could EVER want. I watched it yesterday and it absolutely confirmed my decision to birth at home (granted, I'm in Germany so if something happened that I *had* to deliever at the hospital, I would be slightly less upset about it than if we delivered in the states). You might also try to get him to read the book 'Pushed'.
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