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January 29th, 2009, 01:12 PM
skr skr is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 31
Hi ladies,

Sorry to have been absent for so long. I have been following your updates and thinking of you all. I am now about 18 weeks and doing ok. I have for a few weeks been bleeding/spotting on and off but the placenta guru has declared my pregnancy intact at this point. Maybe it is the stress of the past few weeks plus the normal anxieties of being pregnant after recurrent losses but I am so down today worrying about all kinds of things that I can't control. For example, I have had a sore throat for a few days that doesn't seem to be turning into a regular cold and am so terrified this is a sign that I have contracted CMV (as part of the work-up for my losses I know I have no immunity to CMV ). This is of course not logical since most CMV infections are apparently asymptomatic. However, I googled CMV (huge mistake) and all the websites warn of horrible outcomes when a mother catches CMV for the first time while pregnant and advise pregnant women to practice "meticulous hygeine" including "avoiding contact with children under 6". This makes me so irritated - how can I do this when I am the mother of the most affectionate 4 year old in history! I know this is totally out of my control and I have no clear reason for believing I have contracted CMV but am so worried. It also doesn't help that I went through a CMV scare when I was pregnant with my daughter when some anomolies were seen on ultrasound so these worries are so familiar.

So.... I think I need a little pep talk. Maybe after multiple losses it is so hard to beleive that I can have another child that I can't stop thinking about all the things that will prevent it. My big ultrasound is next Wednesday and I am praying all will look well.
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