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  #48  
February 17th, 2009, 08:05 AM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar
♥Ashley♥ ♥Ashley♥ is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 14,102
Cycle #4 CD7

I am completely devastated today. Last night after getting into bed and starting to get a little "romantic" with Jason, he says "Can you go get a condom out of the drawer?" i said "WHAT?" and he says "We cant have sex without protection" and I say "WHAT?" again, "Your joking right?" And he says "No, I dont think we should have sex without protection anymore" At this point I am started to cry like a baby, and he says "I dont think I want to do this again" (as in have sex without protection which equals getting pregnant) I am crying my eyes out at this point like a baby like hyperventilating and everything, I am soooooooooo upset. Im asking why, why, why? When I had my m/c last week, he said, dont worry, dont cry we'll try again. I grabbed my blanket and pillow and went to the couch tears rolling down my face like never before. He kept saying come in here, lets talk and I wouldnt, the fact that this man would say this to me after I have just experienced losing my SECOND baby is appaulling to me. I contined to cry myself to sleep, and now I wake up today and I am sooooooo confused, where in the world did this come from? Why is he saying this? The thought of not trying again, not trying THIS cycle makes me sick to my stomach, I need to be pregnant, I will not be okay or happy without it, especially not even TRYING. Any help? Any suggestions? Where could this have come from after trying for 3 months? After WANTING a baby? Now he wants to NOT try?

ETA: Maybe hes upset over the miscarriages, and he is worred about another one?

Ill be talking to him tonight, but I havent talked to him yet today about it im toooo upset and im at work so I cant get all worked up here.
__________________
Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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