Marie's TTC Journal
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March 14th, 2009, 09:37 PM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Awww, thank you so much ladies-it means so much to have everyone's support. You just don't always get that IRL, kwim?
On the night of AF, I was researching adoption and other options. I found a site called Fertile Heart by Julia Indichova (?sp), and I ordered her books Inconceivable and The Fertile Female. They came yesterday and I finished Inconceivable today. She got pg in her 40's with an FSH in the thirties-she had secondary infertility. If she can do this, so can I-she did it with NO MA. She had seen countless specialists who wouldn't even touch her b/c her FSH at 42 was 42--and she got pg on her own. I know it could be hokey, but I am willing and want this badly before resorting to an IVF that has great potential to fail. I have a prenatal yoga video that I've never opened, and I bought some wheatgrass powder today; it tastes yucky, but I chased it with two cups of water. If drinking this yuck might avoid years of $$, shots, agony and disappointment, then I can do it
I'm also looking into someone who does something dealing with emotional healing; I've done alot of work, but I'm sure there's more to be done.
I'm not going to sit here at 35 and cry in the corner b/c someone tells me my eggs are old-my mom had AF until she was 53, I have many, many more fertile years left until then! And I'm going to stop pretending that I don't want a 2nd child as badly as I do; this missing baby has left a hole in my soul, despite the beautiful DS I've already got---there is a hole in our home waiting for this 2nd child and I will do whatever I need to do within myself to get that baby here, in its bed, in its high chair, in its stroller as we walk thru the park with my toddler running beside us. I want another pg and another baby, and I'm going to stop convincing myself that I don't.
Let's see how much resolve I have tomorrow morning as I choke down that wheatgrass
Mama to 5!
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