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April 4th, 2009, 05:28 PM
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Jillinebinny Jillinebinny is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 220
So i'm new to the board and i wasn't exactly sure were i belong because my situation is a little different.

A month ago (when i was 21 weeks) my husband and i received the news that our baby has cysts in it's kidneys and a possible heart defect and will not survive. They aren't sure what caused this, but they think it is either potters syndrome or downs syndrome. We won't know for sure until we have the baby and they can do an autopsy and genetic test.

So we know our baby isn't going to survive, but we've decided that i'll carry the baby as long as i can. I just can't bare the thought of inducing, knowing that my baby will die...We are hoping i will be able to carry at least until about 30-35 weeks, but we also know that there is a 40% chance that there will be cord compression and we could have a stillbirth.

It's just SO hard. We have wanted a child since we got married (2 years in May). When we started to ttc it only took us 1.5 cycles to get pregnant, it was almost like a sign to us. My whole pregnancy was normal until that ultrasound. And now our world has been turned upsidedown. I mean, i'm going to lose my baby. Every day i know i'm not going to be able to have my baby with me.

But we're managing to get through this. Our church and beliefs have been a huge support for us. We know that our family is forever and that after this life i will be able to be reunited with our baby and raise them. And we know that God has a plan for us, even if we don't understand But it still is hard.

So like i said, it's just different. We haven't lost our baby yet, but we know we will, it's just a matter of when.
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