A bit of a vent
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April 10th, 2009, 08:14 AM
Join Date: Feb 2008
I have really been feeling a lot of anxiety lately. I think that it is a combination of a lot of things. This is the month last year that everything went terribly bad with Isaac and Avery's pregnancy. The downward spiral happened so fast, I hardly had time to breathe from one bad finding to another. I keep waiting for the ball to drop with this pg too....in a way is seem strange that this pg has gone so smoothly so far.
Also, I'm starting to get nervous about being a Mom in general. I have always been a bit cocky in thinking that I would be this great super mom. Now I'm not so sure. I keep having these dreams where I just leave the baby in weird places. The baby is always very small like Isaac was, and I will leave the baby is the shower and forget about it for a while, or I will leave the house without the baby, and scenarios like that. I always feel horrible after one of those dreams, and I wake-up in a panic. I wish those dreams would just go away.
I am also 30 years old, and DH and I have a very comfortable life together. I am scared that being parents is totally going to throw us out of sync, and I am scared of loosing that closeness. I am also scared of loosing myself. I know I will love this lo, and change can also be a good thing, but in some ways, I'm worried I won't be able to handle the challenge.
I have just been feeling very overwhelmed lately, and my emotions are out the roof. I feel completely out of control.
Hope you don't mind the vent...I think I just need to get it out.
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