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April 21st, 2009, 03:55 AM
Xx5Xy1+'s Avatar
Xx5Xy1+ Xx5Xy1+ is offline
What's your superpower?
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Wiesbaden, Germany
Posts: 1,428
I don't know what it is, but there is *something* about my midwife that makes me feel... off. Its almost like... you run into someone who you were the absolute, most intimate best of friends for several years, then you loose track of each other and when you find each other again there is that strange silence, like something isn't quite there but there isn't neccessarily anything wrong either. This is very very odd to me since before this pregnancy I had NEVER even laid eyes on this woman let alone had any sort of frienship or anything else with her.

Also, something I swore wouldn't happen has... Granted I'm in Germany where they view birth quite differently than in the states... there have been several times where for whatever reason I was refered to an OB (fall off a stair, bladder infection, pap, etc) and I've always seen the same guy... VERY nice man (thats the unfortunate key word of course... its a man) and he is supportive of my choosing to homebirth and has met my midwife (and didn't have anything negative to say, didn't make faces about her, nothing). So... I have a midwife that I feel a little hinky about but not neccessarily enough to call the homebirth off (she's the ONLY one in this area) and a back-up OB who I actually kinda like even though he's a guy and therefore has never personally experienced pg, childbirth, etc lol

Part of me is seriously considering UC'ing for as long as I possibly can before I call my husband (who will automatically call the mw) and hoping she misses it (hubby is ENTIRELY against UC, the only reason he's agreed to hb is because I didn't give him a choice, but he would certainly put his foot down on UC if he knew I was even remotely thinking about it. At least I can relax some knowing that if something does occur that I would need to go to the hospital to deliver I know that it would be MUCH less medicalized than in the US. Now I just have to convince my body (when its time) to go into labor just after hubby leaves for work... which will give me at least 8 uninterupted hours to let my body do what it needs to do before he would come home and try to save me (its a sweet trait most of the time, but it would irritate me in this case lol)

Ok, so I guess this was more of a (vent isn't really the right word) gut spilling than anything else... Maybe I'm just wondering what you ladies think or what you would do... there is one other option available that I need to check out... there is supposedly a birthing center here in town that tricare will pay for, but to me, thats the same as going to the hospital... and they only have two labor rooms and one tub, so if someone decides to use the tub before I'm ready to, then that would cancel my desire to even attempt a water birth... so thats part of why I haven't really looked into them yet.
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I am a sleep deprived, pro-life, homebirth supporting, babywearing, extended breast feeding, cloth diapering, non-vaxing, attachment parenting, conservative thinking, Constitution defending, gun owning, Torah learning, US Army Veteran who is married to her hero... A US Army Soldier! If this offends you, then stop reading my signature!
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