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April 25th, 2009, 03:25 AM
On July 3, 2007 my world was brightened and ripped away from me all at the same time. My then boyfriend had to take me to the ER because I had got what I thought was my period, but it lasted for 3 weeks and I was in immense pain. At the ER they drew my blood had me pee in a cup and did a vaginal exam. What seems like a million hours later the doc comes in and says well I have some bad news. You're pregnant, but you have lost the baby by the amount of blood and lenght of time you have been bleeding, also you have cervicitis and a yeast infection. I don't think the words registered at that moment. I was kind of shooken up. They gave me some antibiotics, and a shot, and sent me on my way. It didn't hit me until the next day that I lost a child.
In November 2008 I got a postive pregnancy test. My world was once again turned upside down. I was shocked as my boyfriend and I at the time were not trying. (Same boyfriend as first loss). I sat down and smoked a pack of cigarettes no joke and called my best friend in tears. I was nervous, anxious, happy and terrified. And I knew my boyfriend was going to be pissed. I took 3 tests. 2 positives, 1 negative. When I told him I was pregnant he just looked at me and walked away. He swears to this day he said we would work it out. But I got no support whatsoever though. After we broke up I found out that he had talked to his boss about me being pregnant and was excited. Yet he couldn't tell me that?! Well any who, I went to the doctor and they drew my blood when I was 6w3d. My levels came back abnormally low. The doctor warned me that I may be losing the baby. And I was like oh great here we go again! They checked my levels again 2 days later and they were even lower. On December 21, 2008 I woke up in the middle of the night in excrutiating pain and soaked in blood. And I knew I lost the baby. I called my doctor and we talked for a long time. She said if the pain gets worse, get your but to the ER. I cleaned up and took some pain meds and went back to bed. I was lucky enough to be able to expel everything so they didn't have to do a D&C, but it was the worst time of my life. In January I had an ultrasound to check on the status of my cysts/masses and she said my uterus was still slightly open. And she once again confirmed my loss.
I was shattered.
4 days ago, Avery would have been one.
Memphis would come into this world August 2, 2009.
Avery: EDD 4-21-09, Became gods child: 7-3-07
Memphis: EDD 8-2-09, Grew wings 12-21-08