How did/does everyone else handle pregnancy after stillbirth?
View Single Post
July 12th, 2009, 08:00 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
I think I am slowly losing it. I started out this pregnancy in denial. I didn't think about the pregnancy much during the 1st trimester as a sort of self-preservation tactic. Once I entered the 2nd trimester and started showing, I waited for the movement to start because I thought that I would find that comforting. I have been feeling consistent movement for the last couple of weeks, and it is comforting, but it has become an obsession. I am scared and thrown by the many similarities that this pregnancy has to my pregnancy with Eva. They both had/have anterior placentas (attached on the front of the uterus) so I was told I wouldn't feel movement until later, they both move so much during appointments that it is difficult to count the heartbeats, they both caused m/s that lasted until 18 weeks or so, and (if they were right at the n/t scan) they are/were both girls.
I am worried about the movements because I didn't feel much with Eva, and that is why I didn't panic when the movements slowed/stopped. Honestly, this one is a bit different. I feel far more than I did with her, but that doesn't make the worry go away. I have been on holidays for the last two weeks so I have spent most of it sitting or lying down so I can feel those beautiful kicks. That is when I feel them most. I have to go back to work tomorrow, and I won't be able to do this. I am scared that this will be a problem for me. I am seriously stopping to check for movement all the time, and I feel something akin to panic up until I feel the baby kick. How am I going to make it through work everyday?
Also, (strangely enough) the fact that the baby likes to move so much scares me. They never discovered the cause of Eva's death, but I still worry about cord accidents (although they told me that Eva's death wasn't caused by a cord accident), so I am obsessing about that, too.
People don't understand why I am a basket case, not really. They say they do, but their eyes say they don't. I am trying to hide my craziness, but it is honestly affecting my day to day life. How did the rest of you make it through? Did you have the same issues? I could really use some advice. I still have 4 months to go before I am done work, and I am not sure how I will make it to the end.
View Public Profile
Find all posts by ~Laurie~