His Child Is Ruining Ours...
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April 24th, 2006, 09:26 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Okay... since I know Megan and her family personally... I think I should throw in my 2cents and opinion....
If anything, Megan is UNDER STATING the problem and is in no way exaggerating this problem...
The mother of her stepchild uses her as nothing more than a free baby sitter so she doesn't have to pay daycare and can go out on her own whim... Calling up to say she's dropping off the child with no warning, and no option of them saying no. This woman is constantly belittling Megan to the child, constantly belitting the father to the child... It's constant, always... and never ending...
IE: A trip planned to FL... Megan purchased a ticket for the child, reminded the mother over and over again of the date and time... They go to pick up the child on the day of the flight, Mother throws a tantrum saying they never informed her... and then goes on later to tell the child that Megan PURPOSELY sabatoged it so he couldn't go because Megan didn't want to take him along... Wait a min... she purchases a ticket, constantly reminds the mother, etc... and yet she doesn't want to take him along? Yeah... ok.
IE: Megan is a younger mom... This woman constantly tells the child that "Megan knows nothing, she's just a child"... henceforth, the child goes off on that, and tells Megan that whenever she tries to correct him.
IE: Megan is expecting another baby... Her husband works full time. Megan is a SAHM and does school via the computer... The woman tells her son "What are they going to do with a new baby? All they do is sit around on their ***** all day as it is."
IE: Megan informs father of child coming at her with fists, child refusing to listen, child backtalking... Father does what? Nothing... Tells the child he needs to behave... then leaves it at that.
IE: Mother wants to go out... So she brings the child over... No warning other than he's coming over. No option of saying no...
IE: Mother calls up the SO of Megan almost every day with a new problem, making it nearly impossible for him not to either leave work or leave his family to come and help her. She makes it so that he is her "last hope" each time... Henceforth, affecting the time he has with his family and taking time/money away from his job.
Now the child... lord knows... Angry boy isn't the word for it...
IE: When the 1st baby was coming, he was selfish and demanding wanting to know why the new baby to be was getting new stuff and he wasn't...
IE: Coming at Megan with fists when she was pregnant because he didn't like something she had to say.
IE: Hitting/pinching on a 20mth old child... infant... toddler... whatever you want to call the little one.
IE: He tries to influence the time away from his father and the new family...
So it doesn't surprise me to learn that he may be taking out his selfish aggressions on her son... Doesn't surprise me at all. That child isn't hit... at least not from what I've seen... and mind you, we all used to live together... If anyone needed a spanking, that child would be the first on my list to get one for his mouth, his attitude, his outright disrespect, hitting of another child, etc... No one abuses that boy. If anything, he is catered to like a young prince waiting to become a king by his biological parents. One who I think enjoys the conflict he causes, and another who is afraid he'll be lost to him forever if he steps up and takes his repsonsibilites as a parent seriously.
Because the bio parents aren't divorced... it makes things a little harder and difficult for Megan in ALL ways... The mother isn't very accepting of signing divorce papers because that would mean split custody and SHE would be the one paying child support for the child to live to both standards at both houses... As for the father... I haven't a clue why in hell he won't just sign the papers and proceed with it, as it would be better for everyone involved. As long as they are still legally married, she (being the wife) has some type of hold on him whether it be emotionally or legally... And it's not fair to Megan to be caught in the middle...
Now as for suggesting that Megan take the boy to a psychologist... Because she is NOT legally a parent of guardian, she has no authority to do so. Both the childs mother and father refuse to see a real problem, and the mother would quickly refuse to allow the child to go with Megan, so it's a no win situation. Plus, no one except Megan is open to family counseling, so that's another one down the drain...
I understand where it's hard for her to look at him as her own child. The father allows the child to get away with murder, the mother encourages it knowing it gets on Megans nerves and stresses her out... The mother belittles Megan, blaming Megan for everything... the father won't say anything about it, scared he'll loose his son... It's a NO WIN situation that she's in.
Megan has tried and tried and tried for years with no success. It's not like she hasn't tried... because she has... for almost three/four years... There has been NO change and no difference in her trying, so I can understand where she is ready to give up... In her shoes, I would have already given up ages ago!
Megan honey... I really DO feel sorry that you are having to go through this. I really hope one day your SO's eyes are opened... because he needs a huge reality check of how this is affecting you mentally and emotionally... and what it may be doing to Nic and what it may end up doing to Collin...
I am so so so so so so so sorry that neither C's mother nor father want to help him get the help he so desperatley needs, and I fear that the longer it goes on, the worse it's going to become.
You know where I am...
Kit and Cari out to dinner (10/7/06)!
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