What was the nicest thing done for you when you lost your baby?
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September 27th, 2009, 07:07 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
It's been awhile since the last post, but I think this deserves to be bumped, as it's a good reminder to remember some of the nice things that has happened in these dark days.
For me, the nicest thing done for me when I lost my baby was given by a woman who works in a spa. Perhaps this seems simple, but I am an American living in Europe and don't have any friends or family (other than my husband and son) in the area. When we lost our baby, I felt emotions in depths I never knew before. I could talk with my husband, luckily, but was only able to talk with close friends and family over the phone (which wasn't enough).
I had planned a trip to Asia before finding out about my pregnancy, and-- even though I had had a D&C only 2 weeks before-- I had no choice but to go on the trip. One way to prepare was to get a bikini wax, and I was thankful that my spotting had ended a couple of days before the appointment (TMI).
Well, Murphy's Law set in right before the woman arrived in the room to give me my bikini wax, and I started to bleed. I couldn't believe it: here I was, grieving over the lost of our baby, preparing for this trip I had no desire to go on, and-- of all things!-- bleeding. The woman (who I've met about 3-4 times before, but had no real relationship with) came in before I could think of what to do. I laid down on the table, and before I knew it, I was telling her all about my missed abortion to explain the bleeding. I asked her not to tell anyone (because I do know people in my town superficially), and tried my best to hold back my tears.
She listened with a kind of silence that conveyed true sincerity, and when I was finished, she said "And now I'm going to tell you a secret." I listened to her almost in awe, for I couldn't believe how sweet she was being. (Up to that point, I had only experienced disregard for what I was going through-- mostly by medical staff and services.)
When I was done and dressed, she came back in and hugged me. It was the kind of hug where the other person doesn't stop the hugging-- if anything, it's you that stops-- and she said, "It's ok to cry... just let it all out."
It may sound silly, but that day I found the first person that had no "obligation" to me that cared. That hug meant so much to me; sometimes comfort and kindness comes at moments we least expect.
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