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October 9th, 2009, 02:35 PM
LoriAnn LoriAnn is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 6
My main issue with this article is where the author says to let the child wear a pink tutu even if it embarrasses you in order to allow her to explore who she is.

I disagree.

I see plenty of tutus and mismatched clothes where parents are allowing the child to explore her own creativity. That's fine in the playground or at a play date but not at a formal function.

The child must learn, along with who she is and what she likes, socially acceptable practices and norms. If she is allowed to where a tank top and jeans to a funeral, how is she going to develop an understanding for formality and respect? A child needs to have a respect for her world inside AND the world outside. In learning to conform in certain situations, she is becoming more rounded and intelligent about society and culture. To hold that lesson from her in favor of her doing whatever she wants as not to hurt her feelings is actually hurting her development as a well-rounded member of society.

I am a tree-hugging liberal but I am not going to allow my child to wear inappropriate clothing to save her self-esteem. I am going to curtail her choices, develop within her an understanding of taste and uniqueness in what is acceptable and appropriate for given situations, so that she may easily move between one social situation and another, while honoring cultural standards and norms. To deny her this education is to her own detriment.

She can save her tutu for Halloween, sleepovers and playtime. Or maybe for a ballet rehearsal. That would be very nice.
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