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May 8th, 2006, 01:45 PM
Join Date: Jan 2006
so its said that before anything moves up things hit rock bottom first right????
or have I been misinformed?
of late my health has NOT been the best ... other than my bipolar crap acting up, my sugar level is out of whack and doctors dont know why.
I've been called names by BOTH my parents when I try to do the usual stuff for myself cause I don't want to fully depend on anyone and I don't want anyone cutting style on me either
Now one parent wont talk to me because HE called me names cause the kids were going out yesterday morning instead of church this ONE time ... oh please .... I can't afford to take them anywhere or do anything for them and someone offered to treat us as a lil family outing cause they knew I was having it so rough.
I let the kids go but I stayed home.
My poor chicks were then b*****ed at .... where I wash down the cage that is ... and you wouldnt believe how ridiculous it was ... water was just collecting ... I mean oh gosh give me a break.
My ex husband whom we've not seen for four years has finally called asking to speak to me first before having contact with the kids ... why?????????????????????? .... its up to the kids if they want to see him or not ... I have never said a word against him but he's surely NOT getting to take them anywhere cause he's a slacker and my kids might get murdered (literally) in the line of fire.
Whom I considered the love of my life decided last week to end our FIVE year relationship to try again with his ex wife .... its like a complete slap in my face .... he had turned out to be my best friend and well .... now I have no one and it hurts like nothing else I can imagine.
I missed two weeks of work and I've been given a warning today .... there are others that slack EVERYday but not told a word but I've been the one warned.
I don't want to be here ... I don't want to go home ... I dont want to be anywhere.
I have no options ... I can't afford to live on my own yet but I am working on it .... I'm fedup of people thinking they can just say what they want just because I'm under their roof.
Sabrina acts up at times and even my son hugs me and tells me "mom dont take her on" ..... she apologises after though.
I am near brokes already cause of all medical and hospital bills .... I dont know what to do cause the money will not last into next week ... Mom was kind of b****ing about the hospital fees so I gave her EVERY cent upfront ...
I now have to turn around and literally beg the insurance company to PLEASE process my claim so I can get a couple of $$ to tide me over.
Its been so hard that sometimes I'm crying and have no idea why but then a depressed person needs no reason right?
I overhear (cause she purposely does it) my mom ######ing about my health to my sisters and that I'm a burden and she has to tote the kids everywhere .... this is soooooooooooo not true .... she takes them nowhere .... I have a driver who I pay to do that for me.
I even went and let's just say reached out a hand first to a friendship gone a bit awry ... yeah I got great replies but only to find out AFTER that there were nasty comments before the replies were put for me
Now why do I bother? ... I got two kids ... I love being a mom but I wish I could give them anything they wanted or needed including a clear head.
xxx Lisa xxx
xxx Lisa xxx
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