Update on me (and some fears)
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January 12th, 2010, 08:43 PM
Green Mama Goddess
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Fallbrook, California
Well I'm 39 weeks and 3 days... just had a midwife appt today (hopefully my last one! *crosses fingers*) and I'm 2cm dilated. I'm totally thrilled about that too, because my last two appts I wasn't dilated AT ALL. So even though 2cm is not much at all, I'm thrilled I'm at least dilated that much, lol. Also, she stripped my membranes, so hopefully that does something!
I've also been taking Evening Primrose Oil, so maybe that's helped.
Anyways, my midwife did express concern for the size of the baby. She asked me if I felt the baby was bigger, smaller, or about the same as my son was when I was pregnant with him. She feels about the same to me. My son was 8lbs 11oz. When I was in labor with him, he never descended into the birth canal. He was at -2 the entire time. The midwife who I had at the time during my labor (completely different hospital than this time) was concerned that my pelvis just wasn't wide enough for him.
I am 4'11"
and a very VERY tiny woman.
I ended up having to have a c-section with him... and am striving for a VBAC this time.
My midwife this time is kind of worried that the same thing might happen... especially if I'm feeling like the baby is about the same size as Seamus was. She's not suggesting me getting induced or anything like that and she fully supports my desire for a vaginal birth... but she is concerned about me going too far overdue. And frankly, I'm really worried about the same thing and have been for a while. :-/ What worries me even more is that my body is going to fail at what it should be able to do naturally. What if my babies really are too big for my body? I mean, I've already decided that if I *HAVE* to have a c-section again (not for lack of my desperately trying for a VBAC, btw), then I will again try for a VBA2C for our third pregnancy. But if *that* one has to be a c-section too... ugh... I just don't know if I would feel comfortable trying for a VBA3C with our fourth and final child.
I know my husband wouldn't be too supportive of that. He fully supports me trying for a VBAC this time, and he is ok with me trying for a VBA2C for the next (if this one is a section)... but I know he wouldn't be supportive of trying again for a vaginal birth if #3 is a section too.
I guess my fears of a failed VBAC are really starting to catch up to me right now. I really really want this... but I'm scared that I'm just too tiny of a woman who makes babies too big.
Anyways, here's a belly pic (hopefully my last!) from today:
As for labor progress... I've had contractions on and off for several days. Sunday night was the worst. I'd have a bunch of contractions, pretty close together... but then I wouldn't have a contraction for like 30 minutes or so... then I'd have a batch of 5 or more contractions with little time in between each... and then I'd go another half hour or more without a single one. This went on and on most of the day. By about midnight or so, they teetered off and if I had anymore contractions, they weren't strong enough to wake me up. *sigh* Oh, and they caused *MAJOR* back pain. I had back labor with Seamus, and I'm thinking I might have the same thing this time. :-/
Since Sunday though, nothing's really been all that consistent. A contraction here or there, but that's it. Oye... just had to pause right now... just had another one.
Anyways, I'm really hoping the stripped membranes really has an effect. I need labor vibes ladies!
And send your positive energies (or prayers, or thoughts, or whatever) that I get my natural VBAC!
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