Last night I was making sure DH was on board with me weaning Brock and making sure we were making the right decision and what not and I got so sad. About a month ago, Brock wouldn't take a bottle at all, essentially he needed me more than anyone else. And now he started taking a bottle and he loves it. I've suspected my milk was drying up for about a month or so and Brock hasn't been gaining much weight so I figured he wasn't getting enough, so now we've decided to wean Brock. I still feed him throughout the day off the breast, but I give him a bottle afterwards. All of a sudden I feel like Brock won't need me anymore. He can play alone for an hour or so, he eats a bottle and doesn't even need me to hold it if I don't want to, he wants to crawl around and no longer cuddles.
For months I have said, I can't wait for Brock to play with toys by himself and figure them out. I can't wait till he can crawl and get to his toys on his own. I can't wait to be done BF so I can have a little free time and not have to worry if he is eating...I can't wait....I can't wait...I swear that phrase came out of my mouth more often than any other. And now it is all here and I'm like WAIT! DOn't grow up without me.
I know in the back of my mind he'll always need his Mommy and he is a very big mama's boy, but I'm still very sad. It makes me second guess weaning him even though I know it's time. Plus I'm already drying up. Usually in the morning, especially if he sleeps good, I'm always a little firm...today they were very soft. It was like I had already fed him. His diapers have never been as wet as they have been in the past few days with me feeding him formula. They were only that wet when I first brought him home.
I just kind of needed to vent a little. I already know you ladies will say all kinds of nice things to cheer me up
and I love that, but I think I'm in a pretty big funk right now. I just hope weaning him doesn't make him hate me or something. I don't want him to feel like I don't want him anymore. But since we've been doing this, he hasn't looked for the breast. He takes a bottle just fine and will still take the breast if I offer it, so I think I'm doing okay, but I'm still not sure. Thanks for listening.