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May 18th, 2006, 11:17 AM
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My son's father is a "Disneyland dad" Anything he wants when he's there he gets. He also gets told to "Hit sister (my DD) and that he doesn't have to listen to me or DH.

Instead of worrying about whether or not he would WANT to come home after his visits to his father's house, I put rules in place. When i pick him up, I give him a hug and kiss, he says I missed you mommy, and I say I missed you too, now remember, all attitudes stay outside the van (I also do this anytime I pick him up from anywhere). He gets in, buckles up and we head home. He tells me the whole way home (usually an hour" all about "only daddy took me here, we had ice cream, cotton candy, etc..."

I have to remind him that we don't have that at our house and if he wants a snack it has to be asked for (he just grabbs one there) and has to be from the snack shelf (healthy snacks). I also remind him that if he gets his target stars (for behaviour and chores) he gets a "treat" from the "treat shelf" (usually the not as healthy stuff).

He told me last week that he doesn't like going to "only daddy's" because "only daddy" tells him "I'm your only daddy" (hence why he, being 4, calls him only daddy) and tells him he only has 1 daddy (he chooses to call DH daddy and cried that he wants 2 daddies, not 1, and we explained that if he wants 2 daddies that's fine, he has 2 daddies because daddy is just a name, and it means that he is very much loved).

He prefers to be home because we have rules, and we have discipline and because after a long battle of him wanting to be the only child, he wants to be with sister. He gets enough sleep at home, he gets attention from us, not just TV, Disneyland, and candy (which is exactly what he gets there). PLus he says "only daddy still cuts up my food, but I'm a big boy and can eat big boy foods!"
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