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This was me not too long ago. We had just bought a house together and he left me and said he was filing for divorce. 8 months went by that I waited for this a******. Back and forth and forth. We just had a baby. He was 5 weeks old when he left us all. Then, during an 'on' time when he wanted a piece of a** I got pregnant with baby #5 all on the way out of a marriage. The house foreclosed. MY house. My dreams. MY hard work to correct his bankruptcy for three years FOR OUR FUTURE. My world had ended. Three older children, a small baby, and #$^% pregnant? Alone. Completely and utterly alone. And now I am left with a bunch of crap that I NEVER signed up for? How can someone have such a strong say over how OUR life, my life, and my children's lives are going to go?
I know EXACTLY what you are saying and EXACTLY what you are feeling. And I know there's not a d*mn thing I can say to make you feel better, either. Dont beat yourself up or blame yourself for your mistakes. He made the choice to stay in the marriage.
Watch Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Do things for you. Count your blessings that no children became of this so that they will not have to deal with the heartache. Be okay with being alone. Be okay with being without him. Stop driving by the house because then you are a stalker. You have all the information you need now....dont torture yourself by driving by. Cry, sob, scream often. Acknowledge your emotions when they arise. And follow through with the order you have to keep him away from you-that's really important.
I wish there was something I could say or do. I thought my life was truly over. Only now do I realize it is just beginning. I didn't know how I would go on without him, and now I don't know why I wasn't the one leaving HIM. I am finding myself. Knowing myself. Loving myself. Talking to me every morning in the mirror. Taking time for ME, for a change. I have been through heaps of $hit in this life, and divorce was no comparison to any pain I have ever experienced.
Please come here often and vent and update us. I know it helped me tremendously....it still does. Danni is so supportive and so are many of the other gals. Its always great to see when something as traumatic as this happens, the women always come around because we were made strong. I know you are scared and panicking. Face the fear and walk through it. When you come out on the other side, you will be a different person. A little wiser, a little stronger.
We are here for you! HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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