|
Welcome and congratulations.
First, my mom is anal retentive about most things shower related. She had absolutely nothing to do with my bridal shower, and tried to get out of hosting a shower for me this time. She's decided to do it I think because I told her it was "fine if she didn't...that I'd just get everything on my own. My girlfriend has too much on the go at the moment to host one for me". This is my first child, and I think my Grandma barked at her well enough to make her go along.
I DO know that no matter who threw this shower for me, when/if I have my second, there will be no shower - not if it's 1 year from now or 8 years from now, in my circles a shower for the second child is not customary. It has nothing to do with the child's value, just that on having a second child (in my circles), it's expected that either you "have everything you need from the first shower" or that "you're well enough established to be able to handle what you need on your own with the second".
Try to have the heart to heart with her to better understand why she doesn't want to have a shower before you allow yourself to feel more hurt by it. Some people are just really old school, and that won't change over night. Ask her how she feels about the new baby - you may be surprised at what you hear. She may be overcompensating with your daughter now, to fill the gaps that will allow you to focus on the new baby when it arrives. Who knows? Just try to find that understanding part of your heart before you approach her. I know it's easier said than done.
Good luck and keep us posted!
|