[Justjessie]

Yesterday DH was rubbing my belly (something I enjoy, it's nice when a guy gets you pregnant and gives a crap...this is my first time for that) and his mom came up (OB nurse) and told him to STOP.

Apparently rubbing your belly gives you contractions, sends you into labor, and you will have the baby.

Since I've only been pregnant four times, I not know how these things work.

THIS IS WHY SHE CAN NOT BE IN THE ROOM WHEN I DELIVER.

Everyone has their own opinion...and NO ONE PERSON IS ALWAYS RIGHT! You have to do what you want to do in life and deal with the consequences! Not let everyone else tell you what's right or what's wrong.

Well, DH is about to have diarrhea over this. He's nervous to touch me now.

This morning I also told DH I don't want to breastfeed. I'm just not into it. After years of soul searching I know who I am, and it's a self centered person who isn't real into babies. And that's just who I am. And I'd be happier bottle feeding.

I have two kids who were bottle fed and they are A&B students with a lot of talents and quick wit. So you can't sell me on "breast is best" anymore. I bought into that when I was 24 and almost jumped off a balcony because of it.

(Not bashing breastfeeding...I think it's wonderful...but I also believe whoever pops the baby out gets to call the shots...in life...forever...)

But DH "heard on TV" that breastfeeding was the only way to go and now, apparently, I'm going to nurse.

I was going to try and take some more time off of work to be with the baby...but that clenched it...I'm going back ASAP. My job is all that I have that keeps me "me" instead of "other people's mom".

My depression is getting out of control and I need to go back on my meds. The OB says I can (and because of that, DH is like "GO BACK ON YOUR MEDS!" but THAT bothers me...I'd never forgive myself if something bad happened to the baby because I'm a psychotic mess. (Why it's like that, I don't know...)

I digress. It was a hard night, I've been up with a headache all night and worried about the choices I've made in the last year.

But DO NOT TOUCH YOUR BELLIES! I have been sent here to save you. Your babies will come out.

Now...we'll all be rubbing our bellies at 9 months when we are overdue and you know nothing ain't gonne pop out at that point...if it were that easy no one would cook too long EVER =)