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April 9th, 2010, 09:34 PM
Mom 2 Alayna N Hayden
Texan In Seattle
Join Date: May 2008
Location: East of Seattle
I've never written this out before, so bare with me as it will probably be long. I'm going to write about what happened from Sept 2004, to August 2005, and I'm fairly detailed.
In 2004, I was 15 and about to start my sophomore year when my mom decided to go along with her then-BF and move down to the Houston area. I was insanely depressed and angry at her for making me move 4.5 hours away from the town we had lived in for 9 years, where all my friends and family were. My new school was enormous compared to my old one, so I was really overwhelmed, but I was excited about the theater class.
The first day of school, I walked into the Theater room and had the breath knocked out of me. I saw a tall, dark brown haired, pony-tailed, goatee-d guy in the corner surrounded by girls. His name was Jesse and he was (then) 17 and a senior.
I was pretty shy, so we didn't actually talk to each other until a few weeks later when we moved into the auditorium to start working on Alice in Wonderland. It was strange, but we were so comfortable around each other. He invited me to start going to his Youth group every Wednesday night where he played bass on the worship team (yes, I know!), so I went with him every week and became close to everyone there. They all assumed we were together, but we told them we weren’t because we actually hadn’t talked about it. It was like an unspoken agreement between us. It was like we were always more than just “dating”.
Right after school started, my mom and her BF split, and she moved to Austin with my brother and sisters, but let me stay behind to finish out the school year. My mom's BF let Jesse come over whenever we wanted, and stay as late as we wanted. We watched movies and mostly just chilled out... for about 2 weeks... and then we stupidly became "active". I had been on Seasonale for quite a while and thought that we were being safe enough, even though I wasn't great at taking my pills. Somewhere I had heard that most people couldn't get pregnant even after a year of being off BC, so I couldn't possibly get pregnant... right?
One day in mid-November, I realized that my period was over a week late and decided to go to the nurses office at school. I was told that our conversations would be confidential, so I told her that I was worried that I might be pregnant. She said to take a test and then inform my parents and the school so that they could make "plans". My close friend from choir, Samantha, was 18 and had a baby of her own and married, so I went over to her house one weekend and she bought me an EPT pregnancy test. I took it and immediately freaked out because I thought it was positive. She looked at it and told me it was negative. It was one of the tests that shows a blue " + or - " (( I now know that it's a notorious test for false positives, and Evaporation lines)). After about 2 minutes, I stuck the test in my purse and took it home with me, happy that I wasn't pregnant! The next morning, I had forgotten about it being in there, and when I pulled it out, I noticed that the results window now showed a very faint " + ".
So then I thought that I WAS pregnant. I called Jesse and told him I might be.
I called Samantha after I saw the test and she took me to a free pregnancy/counseling center place after school. I spoke to a nice lady who gave me a cup to pee in, and said to meet her in this pretty little room w/ the filled cup. I sat down in the room (Samantha stayed in the waiting room) and the lady set a timer for 4 minutes and started the test. She asked me all types of questions about my relationships, family, what my plans might be if I were pregnant, etc. I just stared at the test. It was negative when the timer went off, and she agreed it was. Quite literally, a line started developing just seconds later, but was faint. I showed her the line, but she said that since the timer was done, it was still considered negative and that I wasn't pregnant. I strongly suspected otherwise, but I took her word for it and felt a bit better.
At home we had a family friend of my mom’s X staying over, so I had been talking to her about everything. She bought me 2 more tests over Thanksgiving break “just to be sure”. The first one I took was invalid because it looked all smeared and you couldn't really read the test at all and the second was completely negative! I was beyond relieved, and so was Jesse. Coincidently, I started my "period" that next day, which was very light and weirdly lasted just over a day. I knew that the BC I was on (Seasonale) was made to delay periods, so I figured that was the cause of all my frustrations. After break was over, a guy friend came up to me out of nowhere in the hallways, hugged me and asked me if I was pregnant! I told him NO and asked why he would think that I was, and he said that he just had a "feeling".
After my Christmas choir recital on the first week of December, my mom's X told me the school called, saying I was pregnant!
I told him I wasn't pregnant--which I absolutely believed. Jesse was no longer allowed at the house while he was gone. Apparently the nurse I spoke with at school had been concerned when I didn't go back to see her again after the whole ordeal. My mom was also told. I hadn't said anything to her at that point. Anyways, they both freaked and my mom drove down 2 days before Christmas so I could stay with her for the rest of Christmas break. She was pissed off (of course!) that I had been having sex and that her X had allowed a boy over to stay with me. I told her I had taken a bunch of tests, and wasn't pregnant. She asked when my last period was and I told her that I had one in October, and then the light 1 day period.
Then she asked if I had one for December, and I told her it was about a week and a 1/2 late again, but I had kept feeling like I normally do the day or two before I start. She freaked and told me I probably was pregnant, and went out to buy me a test.
I took it as soon as she gave it to me—on Christmas Eve. It turned positive, in about 10 seconds. I stared at it. I didn't cry. I was just shocked. I had 100% been expecting it to be negative. My mom was waiting outside the bathroom and all I did was nod my head yes. She was upset and just went on about how she couldn’t handle taking care of another baby (my youngest sister was only 3), and how my life was ruined. She kept asking me what I was going to do, what would happen when the baby gets sick, school… She told me to call Jesse immediately and tell him. I didn’t want to because I knew he was at his dad’s for Christmas (parents divorced), but I called and told him anyways. He said “Wow”, but was really calm and reassuring. He said he’d figure out a way to tell his mom and dad somehow over the break, but my mom kept threatening to do it herself if he didn’t right now.
My mom called my step-grandma (my mom’s late husband’s mom) and somehow they got the idea that I should have an abortion. I was pissed and laughed at the suggestion.
The day after Christmas, my cousin took me to the Planned Parenthood in Austin, where I took another test to confirm, and they told me I was approx 7 weeks along according to the period I had in October, and due sometime in August 2005. I told them about the one day “period”, but it was mostly spotting and was probably implantation.
Jesse told his parents, and his mom was weirdly excited. His dad was disappointed, but supportive. We talked about getting married. Jesse felt it was the right thing to do, so long as I felt the same. I did. My mom oddly felt relieved about the idea because then she wouldn’t have to worry about helping me and the baby.
My and his mom started talking over the phone, and when I went back home, Jesse proposed to me with a bouquet of roses in front of our families. I said yes, and then I moved in with him and his mom, little sister, older brother and step-dad, to start planning a wedding. At 15. Strangely, I wasn’t scared. I was very much at peace with everything.
I went to school for about a week after Christmas, but my grades had fallen tremendously and I started failing some of my AP classes.
My mind just wasn’t focused anymore, so we decided to withdraw me from school and home school. I had only been at this school for 6 months and had a nice group of friends, but none were close enough to feel like they should support me. It bothered me, but not that much. Our church and my new family was more than enough, and I was happy.
We had a meeting with our Youth pastor, his wife, and the worship team to tell them that we were pregnant, getting married, and that we felt it was only right to step down from playing bass. They were so supportive of us and offered to do the wedding, counsel us, and help with anything we needed.
Jesse’s mom and g-ma handmade my dress, and so many people offered help in the wedding, so that everything was taken care of. It was planned in just over 2 weeks, and we were married on January 22nd.
We didn’t have a single negative person standing in our way. It was amazing. Most people would be completely against the idea, but it was the right choice for us.
Jesse started a program with his counselors to finish his courses in as little time as he wanted, on a computer. He graduated 4 months early. We started our new lives while still living with his family, and found out we were having a girl! My pregnancy was pretty normal, aside from a false positive test that scared the life out of us for a week. Without any warning, my water broke on my due date of August 19th at 3 pm. After pushing for 2 hours and realizing that her head was literally stuck and couldn’t be turned, Alayna Rianne was born by C/S at 12:29 PM on Saturday, August 20th 2005,. She was 8 lbs even and 19 ¾ “ long. She changed my life and captured all of our hearts and still holds them tightly.
She nursed great, slept thru the night, and rarely cried. She was so perfect. Everything we needed was provided through hand me downs from my mom, and a baby shower w/friends and family. It was amazing how much we were taken care of.
We moved out of Jesse’s mom’s house when Alayna was 9 months old, basically as soon as he was hired at a job that made more than enough money for us. He is an amazing husband, great father, and I’ve never worried about him providing for us. I am a SAHM and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
In May 2008 I was 18 and DH 21 when we decided to TTC for a second. We had been married for 3 years and felt it was the right time. I had my next BFP on June 22nd 2008. This pregnancy was very different, and very scary. I had never had morning sickness with Alayna, but I was literally bed ridden for the first 5 months with extreme morning sickness and exhaustion. I never felt so useless in my life, and couldn’t even care for Alayna, and had to have help from family and friend. I was also on bed rest off and on for the first few weeks due to bleeding. We found out we were having a baby boy at 20 weeks and then had 9 weeks of normalcy. It was nice, because at 29 weeks I went into pre-term labor and was hospitalized. Thankfully he stayed put but I was put on strict bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy and had weekly U/S appointments to measure my cervix, and a few more scary trips to the hospital to stop contractions. At 35 weeks I was given the go ahead to be off bed rest, but at 37 weeks I had a placental abruption and delivered Hayden Clay by emergency C/S on February 10th 2009 at 8:08 am, 7 lbs 3 oz and 18 inches long.
He was so perfect. Unfortunately, his lungs were extremely premature, which the doctors discovered when it was almost too late. His lungs had collapsed at 24 hrs old and the hospital’s neonatologist was worried about a possible problem with his heart, so he was taken to Texas Children’s Hospital and stayed in the Level 3 Nicu for only 2 weeks. The doctors there said that he had been one of their fastest recoveries.
He was a completely different baby than what I was used to---couldn’t nurse and had trouble sucking on a bottle, screamed himself purple every 3 hours when he was hungry… But he is now an amazingly sweet, loving, handsome and FUNNY blonde haired blue eyed boy.
DH (now 23) and I (20) have now been married for 5 years and have a beautiful 4 year old daughter, sweet 1 year old son, and we’ve never considered having our lives any different.
Siggy by RASPBERRYBERET!!
Mom 2 Alayna N Hayden
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