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April 14th, 2010, 08:07 AM
Mom at Home Mom at Home is offline
homeschooling mom of 2
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Jersey Shore, but MI is home
Posts: 1,960
Pour yourself some coffee, here is my novel.

One week ago today....

I was beyond a nervous wreck the morning I left for the hospital, the days before I was having serious mommy mental stress over fears of something happening to me during the c-section, something happening to Lily, and guilt over feeling bad about her arrival instead of happy. After kissing and hugging Ali goodbye 100x we got in the car and I was sobbing by the time we pulled out of the driveway, I tried to compose myself when we got to the hospital but it was shaky. I got changed into my ever attractive doesn't cover my big ol' booty gown and hooked to monitors and the dreaded IV started (hurt like a beep I might add). As if I wasn't swollen enough up started the constant drip of saline solution that would keep going for over 24 hours. Turns out there was a good chance she would have come on the 6th even w/o a section as I was contracting pretty darn regular and they were getting stronger. The nurse introduced herself (she was really nice from what I can remember) and asked me some questions... she then informed me that my iron levels were really low, I can't remember specifics so this might be off but I want to say they said it was 12 point something for normal and mine were barely 9.... she said they were nervous about my bleeding during the operation and would have a transfusion on hand... and followed that statement asking if I had a living will. HOLY BEEP why don't you just freaking tell me "hey you know those fears, good chance you'll bleed out during the surgery" yeah my anxiety went through the roof. Then the anesthesiologist came in to talk to me, she was also super nice.. I told her how afraid I was and she promised to be at my side and to give me meds as needed to calm me or basically knock me out (ie not really under but to the point where I'd be mostly sleeping) I also found out they require Craig to go with Lily after she comes out and I get to see her for a second while they finish my tubal and putting me back together... that was another thing I didn't want to hear, I wanted him to stay with me so I told the anesthesiologist to plan to get me really sleepy when he had to leave.

We wait a bit longer and then come to get me to take me to the OR, Craig was taken off to change into his scrubs while they got me to the room (freezing cold, very sterile as expected and full of equipment, pretty scary actually) and got me on the table, and prepped me for the spinal. It wasn't terrible, the sting was like a bee but it went quickly and then they immediately laid me down as it works fast... the numbness starts almost immediately. They were drapping me and getting me ready and I started getting the cold sweats and feeling like I'd pass out.... I told the anesthesiologist and she gave me something that thankfully worked pretty quickly. Next thing I know the OB said she was testing to see if I was numb then said "you're so skinny" I laughed and said thanks but I really wasn't and she says "no you can't fool us, we're looking at the inside of you" UGH hello lets not tell someone that, here comes that sick feeling again and at the same time they bring Craig in (why they started w/o him is beyond me, he regretfully got a peek at my insides though I've asked him not to disclose details but he said he's forever scarred LOL). At this point they started the actual c-section and I can honestly report that I felt awesome, it wasn't weird or painful or anything I was worried about... there was a lot of movement but nothing was bothering me... I remember I kept asking Craig over and over again if HE was ok as he looked like he was going to lose it... I kept telling him "honestly I swear I'm fine" and I really was... they broke my water and I remember thinking "going to see her in a min" and then I actually said "make sure she doesn't drip anything on me" when I realized the curtain was RIGHT above my face and I know they hold them over (lol yeah nice mommy eh?) they said they had to use the vacuum suction, it took 3 tries to get it to attach but they finally got her out, she was jammed tight. They held her over and it was as surreal as I expected it to be, here was this perfect (though slimy) little baby that was MINE... holy crap. They took her to get cleaned up and I heard her start screaming, LOUD... everyone was commenting on her loudness (Craig went with her, the room was attached) as they started my tubal.... then I started getting this dull pain like in my chest behind my boobs... I figured it was from them pushing and pulling but it was building... I should have said something sooner but didn't and realized it was getting worse and worse and I had that panic attack/throw up/pass out losing control feeling going STRONG by the time they had her wrapped and were trying to give her to Craig to show me (he couldn't get the position right, I think he was in shock too... so honestly I didn't really see her then) but the pain and feelings were getting worse so I told them no first photos, get Craig and the baby out and to give me something NOW... they did and I got really doppy. Don't remember much about the rest of the procedure but then I was wheeled into recovery. Craig was off with Lily somewhere. I was feeling very hot but they said I lost a lot of blood (didn't need a transfusion though) and was actually really really cold so I was wrapped up and had some sort of heating blanket put on me to try to bring up my temp as quickly as possible. I was to drugged to be afraid honestly which was good. Once they got my temp up they took me to my room and eventually brought in my very sleepy baby. I felt pretty sick from the morphine but not itchy thankfully, I know I was given pain meds via my IV at first though I'm not sure what. By the next morning I was taking percocet (which makes me dizzy/sleepy) and motrin which is what I tried to just use except I'd take the percocet at night. I was SUPER thirsty the first 24 hours and so thankful for the catheter and I loved the leg massage things (they didn't let me up out of bed for 24 hours). After having a real breakfast (I was starving since I hadn't eaten since 7pm on Monday and it was now Wednesday am) I was unhooked from everything and helped up. I was moving slow but feeling better then I expected. I was up and walking around that day and continued to feel better by the day. I stayed in the hospital 3 nights (would have liked to come home after 2 but DH insisted, heck he wanted me there the whole 4 but I was going stir crazy). It's been just over a week now and I'm doing pretty good, I take advil or motrin a few times a day since I'm a wuss with pain but I'm up and down the stairs, taking care of my 6yr old and the baby, and getting back to life as it was with the addition of our sweet baby.

After such a horrible vaginal birth I can honestly say my c-section, even though I was afraid, was the best choice... other then the couple times during the surgery where I felt sick the actual birth part was amazing and I even commented during it how wonderful it was and how happy I was.
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~ Candi
wife to Craig 5/28/2002 mom to Aliya 3/31/2004 and Liliana 4/6/2010
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