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OceanGirl March 10th, 2013 04:32 PM

Circumcision
 
I know this is a controversial topic but I also know that you girls are awesome and can help me look at both sides of this issue without conflict.

Right now, I'm leaning towards not circumcising our baby, but I am not 100% decided. I haven't heard many arguments as to why I should circumcise. I know it is more customary to do it here and there are some possible hygiene issues? I know there must be more to it, so I am curious to hear more of the reasoning behind why I should circumcise.

Of course, I'd be interested to hear points on both sides, I have just heard more so far again circumcision so far. I want to make sure that I'm totally informed before we decide. Luckily, dh doesn't have a strong opinion on this issue, so I think I can sway him either way.

Also, I am really curious about the difference in care for a circumcised or intact baby. I feel so clueless when it comes to little boys!

spicymustard March 10th, 2013 05:50 PM

Re: Circumcision
 
We did not circ because we couldn't find a good enough reason to do it. Dh originally wanted to do it but when I asked him why he couldn't give me a reason and he agreed that there was no good reason we could find to do it. As for care it's been no problem. Just make sore you don't pull the foreskin back if you chose to not circ.

*Cyndee* March 10th, 2013 06:13 PM

Re: Circumcision
 
Care: Uncircumcised penis: Is special care needed? - MayoClinic.com

I'm not sure what I'd do.
My DH is very for it if we were to have a boy, I believe based on presentation alone.

bostoncreampie March 10th, 2013 07:24 PM

Re: Circumcision
 
The biggest argument I have heard is that if a grown man wants to, the procedure is far worse than when they are an infant. I have known of a few grown men who have had it done and were out of commission for a good while.

The other argument is so that they look like their other family members. This was the reason I got talked in to it in the first place, and then when I had my second I knew better and said no, but then the issue was about having 2 circed guys and one not. I didn't think it would be an issue... my husband did, and so we ended up having it done. And now, I can say that I do think it would have been an issue between siblings as my boys are both in that phase where they like being naked... I do think it could become a touchy subject. I don't think it would be an issue between a dad and a child though.

If you end up considering doing it, I would recommend watching videos of the process. My brother is a nurse and watched a bunch done while in nursing school and said the babies didn't seem bothered whatsoever, but my husband saw Sam's done and he is traumatized from it as it went very badly. We both decided if #3 was another boy he would NOT be circed. Just be informed. :)

horseradishmayo March 10th, 2013 09:15 PM

Re: Circumcision
 
this is a very good video. please watch it with your husband!

Child Circumcision: An Elephant in the Hospital - YouTube

this one is good too-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iN1cX_Zf2c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uyrbAOr_z8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2quM-PA1aT0

116 babies die from the procedure every year. a baby in california died 2 days ago because he bled to death. more babies die from circ than sids and car accidents.

Joseph4GI: CIRCUMCISION DEATH: Yet Another One (I Hate Writing These)
i posted that article on my wall and here is what my husband responded with:
Quote:

I was the adamant dad that just had to have my son's penis match mine. No matter what. There was no question. You didn't get it, how could you? My most personal part of me, my identity as a "man". You want to argue with me about that? I had been most compromising and accepting to new ideas about parenting, but this was the line. No crossing it. He will be like me.
Then I watched it. I sat there with my wife and watched it. I saw as this boy was strapped down and had a part of his body amputated. I watched the blood and his screams. This was his welcome to this world. If he was lucky he snuggled up to his mom's boob for a couple hours. More than likely he was shoved a bottle of formula as his mommy "recuperated" from what was treated as a procedure. His parents watched with accomplishment as they wheeled him off to another room. Complete detachment. How could you possibly watch your flesh and blood go through that? Its much easier that way... bring him back to me when he's asleep from shock.
I am a circumcised male, and I wouldn't change it. My penis is the way it is, and is everything about my identity as a "man" that it should be in that context. I look down at it as normal. I am not the guy I've seen stories about who stretch their skin out to replace the foreskin, or have some miff against the world because their parents cut it off. I don't feel "unwhole". What my son is and what I want him to become is not the shape of his penis. Of all the things I want to pass on to sweet Vincent, that is last on the list. And that is what I learned that day. He is perfect.
i just want to add, that most people don't realize that it's not just a "snip." the foreskin is fused to the head of the penis at birth, so the doctors have to rip the skin from the head with a scalpel. this is what a nurse friend of mine said about it after reading the article above and someone claimed that their son slept through the procedure:
Quote:

This is so sad. When I worked in a NICU assisted in hundreds of circs and I can promise you not one little boy slept thru it. They scream and pee on themselves even with numbing cream and the injection. They are tied down spread eagles with bright lights in there face, naked in a cold room. My son is circed because I was in the medical field and thought it was best poise my uncirced Hubby wanted his son circed. If I had to do it again I would not have had him circed but you cant put it back.......

.....They sound like they are in denial. It's a sterial procedure and they are certainly not held or swaddled during the circ. Theu are on a board that has a baby shaped indentation with a raised part where the penis is. They don't want them moving at all because they could chop it off. I have seen Dr's pull the forskin to tight, to loose and even clip the head off the penis. I have even had to call the dr back when the baby was still bleeding a lot and the poor thing had to get multiple injections in the penis to stop the bleeding. The Docs cut it wrap it and leave the staff
to clean up the mess and take the baby back to the parents. In every case not one parent was told about any problem unless surgery was needed. Some docs even use a bell shaped device that slowly kills/cuts the forskin over days.

horseradishmayo March 10th, 2013 09:31 PM

Re: Circumcision
 
peaceful parenting: Functions of the Foreskin: Purposes of the Prepuce

kimmiejo March 11th, 2013 05:22 AM

Re: Circumcision
 
Sam is circ'd, my DH is Jewish...that isn't the full reason why we did it, my husband isn't religious exactly, if at all but it is a cultural consideration for some. We made an educated decision to do it. For what it's worth, I have seen it done "live" in the hospital setting when I was in nursing school and also several times in homes of relatives/friends for their sons' (Bris) I knew exactly the procedure that was being done. Research, educate yourself and do what feels right to you and your family, I wouldn't be inclined to tell someone what they should do with their child's penis, be it to keep it intact or circ, seems a personal parenting decision to me and this is an argument I tend to avoid because people often get heated about it.

TheMommyProject March 11th, 2013 08:57 AM

Re: Circumcision
 
Aidan is circ'd. I did not have a strong opinion on it one way or the other, so this was ultimately a decision my DH made.

It's definitely a very personal decision and I don't believe there is a right or wrong answer. You're educating yourself now, so ultimately you will make the right choice for your family and your baby boy.

horseradishmayo March 12th, 2013 09:51 AM

Re: Circumcision
 
sorry for overloading you with info, but i keep finding interesting articles that are definitely worth sharing...
peaceful parenting: How Male Circumcision Impacts Your Love Life

QueenCrafty March 12th, 2013 04:45 PM

DH and I have discussed it. He has no reason other than wanting his son to look like him. I asked him to tell me a time when he and his own father compared their penises. Obviously he never did. So he agrees that I get the choice since I have a strong opinion on it and he really doesn't. I think it would be different if we were Jewish or had some other cultural reasoning, but we don't.

LisaMarie! March 12th, 2013 05:20 PM

Re: Circumcision
 
Both my boys are circ'd. No regrets on doing it either. I didn't and still don't have a strong opinion on it. Like everyone else said, just educate yourself and do what is best for your family. I have talked to a lot man who had it done at an older age and it was horrible for them as adults.

horseradishmayo March 12th, 2013 05:52 PM

Re: Circumcision
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by QueenCrafty (Post 27189464)
DH and I have discussed it. He has no reason other than wanting his son to look like him. I asked him to tell me a time when he and his own father compared their penises. Obviously he never did. So he agrees that I get the choice since I have a strong opinion on it and he really doesn't. I think it would be different if we were Jewish or had some other cultural reasoning, but we don't.

did you read my the quote from my DH above. he really wanted them to look alike too...and you know what? aside from the foreskin, their penises still look alike. :) i thought that was weird to think, but i told my husband that and he said, "thanks, that means a lot to me." :lol:

horseradishmayo March 12th, 2013 05:58 PM

Re: Circumcision
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaMarie! (Post 27189585)
Both my boys are circ'd. No regrets on doing it either. I didn't and still don't have a strong opinion on it. Like everyone else said, just educate yourself and do what is best for your family. I have talked to a lot man who had it done at an older age and it was horrible for them as adults.

just remember it's your son's penis, not your family's penis.

if you think it's hard to do it as an adult, think of how painful it is for a little baby. and a grown man's foreskin has already detached from the glands... baby's skin is fused to the glands so they need to use a scalpel to rip the skin off the head of the penis. :(
it's is very rare for older males to need to be circumcised.


just a disclaimer, i am not out to make anyone who circumcised their boys. i have thoroughly researched it and am stating facts.

bostoncreampie March 12th, 2013 06:20 PM

Re: Circumcision
 
jaq i think the argument is that when newborns have it done, there is much less bleeding generally than in an older baby or adult. i know newborns have complications, but generally it is a quick procedure but where if you wait until the baby is much older or a grown man, its full out surgery. i know when sam had it done he was over a week old and bled a lot more than he would have had he had it done right after birth. not advocating for circ, just explaining.

horseradishmayo March 13th, 2013 11:37 AM

Re: Circumcision
 
i understand what she meant, but the thing is infants can't speak or express how much pain they are in...they don't even understand why they are in pain. adults make their own conscious decision to remove a piece a healthy tissue from their genitals, they are aware of the procedure, expect it to be painful, and can take things like vicodin and pain meds when they feel uncomfortable. we can't just assume that the healing process is easier for babies because they can't verbalize what they are going through.


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