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Jaylas_Mommy April 19th, 2009 04:58 PM

just need to vent... o/t (long)
my mom drives me nuts!! i know this is kinda rude but i cannot stand her! I have NEVER been close with my mom. ive always been independant and do things on my own. now my twin sister is another story. her n my mom are really close. it doesnt bother me at all but my mom trys to be like my best friend and it just drives me up a wall.

she has always been like that. she tries to pry into my life to get me to talk to her when i just dont wanna share every aspect of my life with her. my sister tells her EVERYTHING...like i cant tell my sis something if i dont want my mom to know because she will tell her.

here lately it has been gettin on my last nerve. i feel like i havnt even moved out of her house yet.

yesterday morning she called me before i was even out of bed (i ignored it because im super grumpy in the mornings) she knew i was going to her house later so idk why she called. but i got up and went to their house to get the rest of my stuff. i was there off and on all day. then this morning i get another call from her before i was out of bed too. i was like really?? leave me alone please! i ignore it again. she texts me a little bit later and asks if we wanna come over for dinner.

SO doesnt want too because my parents drive him nuts too. but i told her yea and then she's like can we come see your apt. i didnt want them too because its still a mess and i had homework to do) so they come over and are here for like 2 hours then finally leave n that only gives me like an hour without them here before we have to head right on back to their house. after dinner we leave because we wanted to go to kohls n mym mom like walked me to the car....she acts like im moving across the world or something!

now those of you that are already mommies probably think im horrible and i can understand wanteing to be close to your kid...but im just not that type of person. i mean yes i want to have a good relationship with my kids but im also not going to try and push a friendship on them. i think thats what pushes me away. shes trying to act young and like we are best friends and that just simply isnt the case.

all of my friends have always said she treats my sister better.(just an example for graduation my mom made my sis a scrapbook n never made me one) i mean im sure i have a lot to do with it. im not like mean but im not all giddy and happy all the time when im with them.

ok. im done now. thanks ladies for lettin me vent to you!

MellieB April 19th, 2009 05:03 PM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
:dothug: My mother thinks she is the centre of the universe and the world revolves around her. Like yours she also pushes herself on me. I really don't need her to call me 5 gazillion times a day. I'm a big girl now.

ms.crystal April 19th, 2009 05:56 PM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
I don't think you are a horrible. I feel the same way sometimes. My mom can be overbearing, so I know how you feel. We are not as close as I would like us to be, but we are working on it. I hope everything gets better!

hoping4more April 19th, 2009 05:58 PM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
its hard i know.

fishysticks April 19th, 2009 07:01 PM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
Oh trust me, I get it. I didn't get along with my mother for EIGHTEEN years of my life. I lost her when I was 19, so regardless of how much she grated my nerves, I miss her lots- but I get where you're coming from.

Your mom reminds me of my MIL, except she didn't give birth to me and wants to be my best friend and all I want to do is tear her head off.

Wish I had some advice for you!! Some moms are just overbearing. They mean well, but they don't know when to quit.

Snowpeas April 19th, 2009 07:22 PM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
((hugs)) She might be trying to re-connect with you now that you're pregnant. Having a daughter pregnant apparently brings back all the old memories and feelings, and sentimentality.

Having said that, it would be very hard to deal with. I don't get along very well with my mother either (although we're both trying hard for my daughter's sake) and it would drive me absolutely bonkers to be in that situation - especially if I was hormonal. Thinking of you!

drewbears April 20th, 2009 04:15 AM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)

I don't think you are bad at all for feeling that way girl!

ThatGirl April 20th, 2009 05:32 AM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
My mom and are pretty close already despite the fact that we didn't get along when I was younger. Right after I got knocked up she went a bit off the deep end though. Texting me a million times a day and going crazy with facebook and myspace messages. I had my sister tell her to back off. I think it hurt her feelings but after we talked about it she seemed to understand. Well she backed off a bit anyway. :)

klt April 20th, 2009 06:11 AM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
I lost my mom a little over a year ago...there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her. Yes, there were days that we drove eachother nuts, but, she was always there for me. She was one of my best friends.

I feel bad for you and i wish you didn't feel this way. It must be very hard. I hope you guys can work out a relationship that works for both of you. Thinking of you...

Genevieve's_mommy April 20th, 2009 08:59 AM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
my mom acts the same way. dont get me wrong i love her to death. but she is always doing things to push me away. ive come to ignore it!

*Jennifer* April 20th, 2009 09:13 AM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
You are not horrible at all. My mom and I are close, but I don't share personal things with her. My brother, on the other hand, does. They have a different relationship. Not better or worse, just different.

Now, if my mom just invited herself over and then expected me to go to her house for dinner after, well....things wouldn't go so smoothly. It sounds like you mom has no value for your time....very inconsiderate IMO.

shannonkcc April 20th, 2009 09:20 AM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
I don't think you are horrible. I think those are normal feelings to have. It took a long time for my mom and I to get to a place where I could stand her. Now we are much better. We get along great.

Jaylas_Mommy April 20th, 2009 09:28 AM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
thanks ladies. im sure we will eventually get to a place where i can tolerate her. its just not right now. i need time away from her. and i dont think i will ever get that. i know when this baby comes she's gonna expect to see it a couple times a week and im just gonna want my time with it, SO is always just like tell her...but i dont wanna hurt her feelings. idk..we will see how things go.

Carly's Mama April 20th, 2009 10:54 AM

Re: just need to vent... o/t (long)
Wow do I completely understand! Before I was pregnant with my first, my mother and I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT get along. At all. I moved out of the house when I was 20 because we fought so badly. For some reason, when I got pregnant (and it was an unplanned, out of wedlock pregnancay, no less) my mom all of a sudden wanted a close relationship with me. I resisted it because I didn't trust her - she had done this to me in the past, want to be close and then blow up at me. Over time, we did become close, somehow. And it has only gotten better with time.

I think there is just something about pregnancy that mends all the hurt feelings and brings a mom and daughter together. For now, take your time and keep your distance, I bet over time things will get better! *HUGS*

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