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MommaDucks March 12th, 2011 11:32 AM

Did he stay?
 
Did your hubby stay with you the whole time you were at the hospital after your LO's birth?
BTDT mom's, did he with the first?

monica8 March 12th, 2011 12:22 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
Yup. He just went home to shower. He's going to do the same this time. We only live 5 minutes from the hospital and he doesn't want to miss anything.

natty March 12th, 2011 12:58 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
Yup the hospital let him shower in my bathroom so he was there the whole time

~Paula~ March 12th, 2011 01:24 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
He did with Kayla and Emily but with Abby he stayed the first night but the 2nd had to come home because Kayla had school. He was there first thing in the morning though, after he put Kayla on the bus. My Mom kept Emily for us.

MommaDucks March 12th, 2011 01:31 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by monica8 (Post 23326857)
Yup. He just went home to shower. He's going to do the same this time. We only live 5 minutes from the hospital and he doesn't want to miss anything.

What's the plan with this one? :)





Tom never stayed. I'm still bitter ab it with Thomas. With Collin and Bailey we didn't have anyone to keep the others for the night. :(

Tom stayed throughout the whole labor. And with Thomas, until around 9pm, then came back the following day, left, came back, left around 7-8, came back when I was d/c.

with Collin, he was sick. I got to the hospital at 8, had him at 9, and Tom was gone before 11.. Only came up for a couple hours twice the next day, in the late morning, then for our dinner, left by 8, came the next day when I was discharged.

Bailey, he stayed until she was born (few minutes before 9, he left at 10-10:30, came back around 11 in the AM, then each day until she was discharged he only spent 1-3 hrs with her...

Yea...still bitter, his reasoning was "I'll have all the time in the world once s/he comes home." <_<

~Paula~ March 12th, 2011 01:40 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
I'd be bitter too Nicole. That hospital time is such a precious time. My favorite time was just me and DH sitting in the bed, holding the baby and staring at her.

catherineclare March 12th, 2011 02:19 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
Well since I had Ben at home he was there pretty much the whole time! He was my errand runner tho so anytime we needed anything he went out for it so my mom could stay with me. He was great. I pretty much had zero recovery time and was up and downstairs sitting on the couch an hour after I delivered so he would get me stuff and held the baby a lot.

With my first I stayed the nite alone in the hospital. I was a single mom and my mom had to leave for the nite. That was totally cool with me tho. I remember using that time to call family members and chat then they brought the baby to me to room in that night. It was a unique experience and one I will always look back on fondly even tho it was just me and baby in the room.

sara_ann March 12th, 2011 02:28 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
With my first, she was born at 3:30 in the afternoon and he was there that evening and I told him to go ahead and go home knowing he would rest better there, and we had been up most of the night before. The next day he came after breakfast and stayed all day and night (we had lots of visitors and I think he may have left to have dinner with his parents) He didn't sleep well and the next 2 nights he didn't stay. I had a c-section with both so I stayed longer.

With Elijah he didn't stay at all because we had Ava AND because Elijah was sent to another hospital. He was going between my hospital and Elijah's over an hour away. So he had reason to be gone, I wanted him with me, but I wanted someone with Elijah too. We had a wonderful friend who kept Ava, but each evening DH went home to be with her.

*Jennifer* March 12th, 2011 03:51 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
No and it's kind of a sore spot with me. THe hospital I delivered at doesn't allow the spouse or SO to stay overnight which I think is complete bull. Tthey say mom needs to rest and she and baby need to bond. I guess the daddy doesn't mean crap then.

However, DH has a very tough time being at a hospital. It's pretty traumatic for him. Before I went into labor, I had to remind him that this was not the part of the hospital where he stayed. Even so, he didn't come until the evenings when all of my family had gone for the day.

~Paula~ March 12th, 2011 04:42 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
I had c/sections too but I only stayed 2 night with Abby. I wanted out!!

Jennifer, I can't believe they don't allow the Dad to stay. That's horrible!

When I had Kayla it was military and the rooms were shared but no one was in with me so DH got to sleep in the other bed instead of a cot. (Though he just shared my bed with me. lol)
But After I had her they asked if he was staying and he said No. So he left and I was so sad, but understood. An hour later he came back with his bag and balloons for me.
He had told the nurses he'd be right back but not to tell me. He had just gone home to make all the calls back to the states to announce that Kayla had arrived, since there weren't cell phones or lap tops then. lol

With Emily and Abby they are all private rooms and have a chair that lays down into a very uncomfy bed for Dad. lol I'd be laying in bed and watch him sleep in that miserable looking chair and I'd feel so bad for him. Usually when I'd look over he'd have a baby on his chest sleeping, such a precious sight. :wub:

*Jennifer* March 12th, 2011 04:58 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
Tell me about it Paula. It sends the message that the father is not important and I don't agree at all.

I do think Dh would have stayed overnight, but probably would have been gone during the day. I have to accept the fact that having a baby overwhelmed him to say the least. Traumatized by being at a hospital or not, it seemed like too much for him. Of course now he couldn't imagine life without his son.

I hope I'm not making DH sound like a jerk.

MommaDucks March 12th, 2011 05:25 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
You are so not making him sound bad at all.

Now I totally did. :rolleyes: Tom's not a hospital person, his anxiety shoots through the roof around people, especially nurses and doctors, anyone with a nametag or badge.. But it's just him, he's like that in all situation.

But, I feel like he just couldn't do it for me. I begged him to stay with Thomas.. The other two, I'm fine with how things were. Bailey, we didn't wantto make the boys sit up there all day, and we didn't have a sitter until after 4:30pm.

~Paula~ March 12th, 2011 05:29 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
Jennifer, you didn't at all!

My brother has serious hospital anxiety. It's ridiculous! You have to practically knock him out to get him into one and then the entire time he's in there he's pacing or his knee is bouncing like crazy.

*Jennifer* March 12th, 2011 05:33 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
Thanks. :) I get hesitant about posting things about DH that others may find negative. I remember posting something about the way Dh reacted to my second positive pregnancy test and someone said he sounded like a jerk. It stung a bit. I mean, he is the person I love. I let it drop thought because it was understandable why someone would think that.

wildflower_142 March 12th, 2011 06:26 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
With Ashleigh he spent the night after her birth, but the next morning he did go to work. He didn't stay after any of the other births. He went home to be with the kids at home.

3TeamH March 13th, 2011 06:30 AM

Re: Did he stay?
 
W/ Cohen he stayed the whole time, but with Abe he had to go home bc I shared a room. I didn't have Abe until almost 10pm and the woman sharing a room with me had her baby not long after me so our husbands stayed until maybe 1am or so and were back first thing the next morning. I'm hoping to have a private room this time but even if i do I don't know if dh stay bc of the boys. My parents could stay with them no problem so we'll just play it by ear.

monica8 March 13th, 2011 07:25 AM

Re: Did he stay?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MommaDucks (Post 23327215)
What's the plan with this one? :)


He's going to do the same thing. My aunt and uncle live in the apartment below us, so they will watch Levi until my mom gets here. She lives about 3 hours away. My mom and Levi are best buds, so I have no worries about leaving him :).


That's crazy the hospital doesn't allow SO's to stay Jennifer!

Hayley, I couldn't imagine sharing a room. Was that awkward? I just was a mess after Levi was born, trying to figure out how to get him to nurse, and needed my space.

3TeamH March 13th, 2011 02:39 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
There was a curtain separating us, but it was still awkward hearing the doctor talk about her and her baby. There were some minor issues with her baby and I know that if that were me I'd ask to be moved to a room where we could discuss the issues in private. So yes, it was strange but the woman was very nice and very respectful of me. The worst part about it was having to use the same shower/toilet :sick: I was very grateful that her baby was pretty quiet too. I could hear other babies in other rooms that had some mighty lungs.

MellieB March 13th, 2011 05:31 PM

Re: Did he stay?
 
Dad's don't usually stay here since we usually share our rooms with 2-3 other new mums.

Rodger did stay the nigh Jas was born as they didn't move me to my room till the next day. He couldn't after Zac. The original plan was for him to stay at the Birth Centre with me after Lucy but after I ended up with Satan for a midwife and transferred to L & D that wasn't an option. He didn't leave till midnight though and was back by 7am the next morning. I was still asleep. Lucy was apparently awake when we got there and when I woke I found him asleep on the floor with a spare pillow and blanket and Lucy on his chest. :wub:

monica8 March 14th, 2011 07:32 AM

Re: Did he stay?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 2gr8kiddos (Post 23333871)
There was a curtain separating us, but it was still awkward hearing the doctor talk about her and her baby. There were some minor issues with her baby and I know that if that were me I'd ask to be moved to a room where we could discuss the issues in private. So yes, it was strange but the woman was very nice and very respectful of me. The worst part about it was having to use the same shower/toilet :sick: I was very grateful that her baby was pretty quiet too. I could hear other babies in other rooms that had some mighty lungs.

Wow, I didn't think about the other baby noises. That is a good thing the baby was quiet.

During labor I had to share a toilet with someone. When I first got there, both our bathroom doors were open and I could hear the baby in the other room be born :eek:. Thankfully they put me in a more private room after that!


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