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Mom at Home November 23rd, 2009 02:11 PM

Need to vent... again
 
Shocking I know, sorry.... I think I must be peaking in pregnancy hormones or something this week because everything is setting me off and this was the first week where I felt like I lost control more then once.

So.... long story semi shorter. We moved to NJ three years ago this December from MI so DH could take a job in NYC. It was a huge move for us since we didn't/don't know anyone here and both grew up our whole lives in MI. The house price was more then double the cost of the house we sold and though his salary also increased a good deal we also had to add in commute costs and just the reality of him working in NYC and the expense of eating lunches there and taxi's etc so while we're lucky to still be debt free our savings is very small. We always planned on this being on a couple year thing, and then we'd move home. Of course then the economy crashed and hit MI especially hard.

DH hates the commute and has been home sick since we moved. He's looked into various offers over the past year and nothing has panned out. He has agreed to transfer to TX with his current company and they have given him until next July to sell the house and move. At the same time he doesn't want to move to TX so he's been checking out other opportunities and has an offer for another job in NYC anytime he wants (he told them after the 1st of the year). To make things even more fun this past week a very large company in MI has expressed interest in him and he is due to fly to MI on Dec 11th to meet with everyone and then can expect an offer.

At the same time since we purchased at the height of the market and house prices dropped here much like the rest of the country we don't have enough equity in our home to afford to pay an agent to list it, heck we'll be lucky to get what we owe on it. We've had it FSBO since July though with it only listed on forsalebyowner.com and craigslist the only interest we've gotten is from realtors harassing us to list with them (this is another whole rant, if one more comes here and wastes my time after we politely explain that we CAN'T afford to pay more then 2.5% buyer agent commission and will be lucky to get what we owe on the house...). So he promised me he would let me know by the first week in December if we were going to continue to try to sell the house and move or if we were going to stay put. Let's be honest I'm only getting bigger and less able to pack or move each day, and I'm a huge planner who is very type A and needs to get things ready as soon as possible either for a move or the nursery for the baby.

I can't take being in limbo... and now I have at least another month before we'd even expect an offer for the MI company and then we STILL have to try to sell this house. I don't know if I should pretend we're moving and use the last bit of energy I have organizing things and packing things we don't need right now or if I should assume we won't and move forward with the nursery... How am I going to move at 7+ months pregnant if we even managed to sell this thing? I have 2 big dogs, a cat, over 100gallons of very $ saltwater fish & corals and a 1800sq ft home with a additional full packed garage, attic, and basement. AARRGGGHHH

This is one time I really wish I could have a big glass of wine.

Thanks for reading this novel I wrote an letting me just get it out there.

Chelnae6 November 23rd, 2009 02:25 PM

Re: Need to vent... again
 
1) Whats his occupation?

2) Do you think that you guys could rent it out and get what you pay mortgage for on it?

3) They have FSBO websites (some for a small fee) that you can list the house on. And you might want to also try an open house (listing it in the local newspaper) as opposed to just craigslist. (FSBO Homes For Sale By Owner | Real Estate Listings For Sale By Owner at FSBO.com)

4) Have you guys thought about short sale? Its not as bad as a foreclosure and you can be sure to get a house within the next year or two. A short sale with a promissory note is better b/c you wont be quite settling, you just sell the house for what its worth and then sign a promissory note to the loan company to make monthly payments on the remainder of the loan. That doesnt affect your credit like if you were to short sale it for less. Your loan company can probably assist you in doing one (it might cost a few thousand though but im not sure if you go through your loan company, like maybe $2000).

5) He could probably look into asking for a relocation package that would 1. help you move and 2. could potentially help you guys get a listing agent

Baby father has a real estate license so thats why I know a little bit about these things lol

*Ashley* November 23rd, 2009 02:26 PM

Re: Need to vent... again
 
My suggestion, it certainly couldn't hurt to start organizing things and de-clutter now regardless if you are moving soon. I would try to patient until he meets with the people in MI. I know that is easier said than done because I am a planner and Type A as well. We will be moving the end of March first of April and although we are staying in the same town, I feel your pain. Have you explained all of this to DH and how much it is stressing you out? Not that he can help it but it might make you feel a little better getting it all out to him. He might even realize that he will have to pick up extra duties at home as far as the packing and moving goes.

Mom at Home November 23rd, 2009 02:33 PM

Re: Need to vent... again
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~ChelNae6~ (Post 18071615)
1) Whats his occupation? He's in advertising and marketing, as crazed as I feel I know I should be so thankful that he has companies who want to hire him and a really good salary now...

2) Do you think that you guys could rent it out and get what you pay mortgage for on it?not something I would consider, since we'd be moving back home to MI I don't even want to think about having this property here and refuse to have more then one mortgage in our name in this economy... sort of a it sells or we don't move situation as far as we're concerned

3) They have FSBO websites (some for a small fee) that you can list the house on. And you might want to also try an open house (listing it in the local newspaper) as opposed to just craigslist. (FSBO Homes For Sale By Owner | Real Estate Listings For Sale By Owner at FSBO.com)if he gets an offer and we decide to move forward we'll list it in the MLS (we've met with someone already and they have a flat fee MLS listing where the most we'd pay out is the 2.5% buyer agent fee we already plan to pay out

4) Have you guys thought about short sale? Its not as bad as a foreclosure and you can be sure to get a house within the next year or two. A short sale with a promissory note is better b/c you wont be quite settling, you just sell the house for what its worth and then sign a promissory note to the loan company to make monthly payments on the remainder of the loan. That doesnt affect your credit like if you were to short sale it for less. Your loan company can probably assist you in doing one (it might cost a few thousand though but im not sure if you go through your loan company, like maybe $2000).We really haven't since we have pristine credit and I've worked hard to keep it that way, plus I'm so anti renting (again my type A thing LOL) though worst case and it wasn't selling with an MLS listing we would likely buy a new house in MI (since the economy is so dead we could get a steal and his salary & our credit should allow us to get another mortgage while we still have this one) and then short sale the NJ house

5) He could probably look into asking for a relocation package that would 1. help you move and 2. could potentially help you guys get a listing agent we'd insist on a relocation package (TX move would be covered in full, but like I said he doesn't want to go there) with the MI company it would be tough to negotiate a signing bonus etc as the economy there is just so dead, he'd likely take a $30K salary cut just to move home already

Baby father has a real estate license so thats why I know a little bit about these things lol

Thank you :)

Ashley: thanks for your post too. We have discussed it and after a few mini breakdowns this week I think he finally gets how stressful it is to me. He did promise me that under no circumstance would he move home to start a job and leave me here pregnant w/my 5 1/2yr old and all the pets and pregnant etc so that made me feel better. He also promised that he'd only be willing to drop so much in salary to move home and agreed that if the house doesn't sell then he will take another job in NYC... I think I'll take your advice and try to put my nesting instincts aside and concentrate more on "if we move" then setting up the nursery etc since it would be easier to set up her nursery should we not move then it would be to start from scratch on a move if we do.

QueenCrafty November 23rd, 2009 02:37 PM

Re: Need to vent... again
 
I hate that you're stuck in limbo with the job and house market. If I were you, I'd assume that you'll continue to have the house listed. Maybe don't continue packing things away, but try not to bring new stuff in. It's tough not knowing where your family is going to be in the next few months. I hope everything works out in the end!

ETA: Chelle's suggestion of a short sale is a possibility if you want more stress. I'm a real estate agent and I try to avoid short sales if at all possible. It's one thing if it's short a few thousand and you guys can personally make up the difference. It's a different story if you want the mortgage company to cover the difference. If you went that route and got a contract immediately, the closing can take several months (possibly as much as six). It's nearly impossible to get an answer from the mortgage company if there is a viable offer on the home. A good friend has several short sale listings and she and the homeowners can't get an answer from the bank as to what kind of offer they would accept. Most of the time a short sale isn't worth it. I'd consider staying put vs. selling short.

Max n Meghan's Mom November 24th, 2009 06:39 AM

Re: Need to vent... again
 
I can't blame you for being stressed! I really hope everything gets figured out soon so you can breathe.

I do agree that now would be a good time to declutter and rid yourself of things you don't need whether you move or not. It'll make things a lot easier either way.

Good luck...


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