Time out questions
I was just reading the responses to my discipline post so I thought I would bring up some time out situations that I am not always sure how to handle.
what do you do if your LO purposely does something wrong just to procrastinate bed time? Today he did this before his nap, so I skipped our books & lullaby routine as a punishment and made him go straight to bed. Time out would have made him happy just to stay up longer.
What about if its a situation where you can't immediately put them in time out? Today he pulled my glasses off and tried to throw them, as he was getting out of the tub. So I couldn't put him in time out until he was dried off and had a diaper put on, by then I figured it was too late for him to learn a lesson. So instead I yelled at him which I know doesn't help the situation.
Do you have multiple time out places in your home? Like one upstairs and one downstairs? Right now im dragging him down the stairs to put him in his time out corner which has a booster seat that I buckle him in. Its getting tiring so I need to find a solution for when he misbehaves upstairs.
What about in public? If my LO is bored in the grocery store, why would it be a punishment to take a time out from the grocery store?? I will tell him if he behaves he can have some sort of treat, but that doesn't always fix the really bad things he does like throwing his sippy cup out of the shopping cart (almost hit a person yesterday) or turning around and smacking his sister.
Sorry this is so long, im just really looking for some advice!! Thanks!!
Re: Time out questions
Hmmm... Sometimes, I just tell him that after the bath (or whatever) he's got his timeout. Not ideal. Not every situation is going to be a great lesson learned moment for them.
If he spits at the grocery store, I make him hold his tongue for a minute and he doesn't like that. Creative things like this could help for the moment.
The way our house is set up, we have one time out spot and he knows where it is. It's in his room, but in the corner without toys and where I can see him. He's a pretty sensitive, smart little guy so it doesn't take much for him to figure out what he did wrong and correct it.
Re: Time out questions
With prolonging bed time, we had to get to the ultimate decision of doing his bed time routine and then going to his room with the door closed ( child lock on so he cannot get out ) We do just like you, shorten the routine if he misbehaves.
Public places are not too bad for us, Milan is great in public, he has his own shopping cart and helps us shop, if he misbehaves, he put him into a big cart even if he is screaming. How about having your LO participate in shopping? Getting several things. It might take a little longer, but less stressful. Or if that would not work for you, you can have him be busy by asking colors, name foods, or talk to him about what to get next and what you are going to cook with it... creative things to keep his mind off trouble.
We have one time out chair, but sometimes we simply ask him to sit down on the floor and think about what he had done wrong.
The bath thing.. I don't think it is too late to put him in a time out after drying and putting his diaper on. While getting dressed you tell him that you are upset, nothing else and put him down when he is ready. They are smarter than we think.
We also give rewards for sleeping well through the night, for being nice.. and so on.
Re: Time out questions
We do not use time out a ton, but when we do, it's usually in the kitchen. Most of our living is done in the same floor. However, if we are somewhere else, I will put them in time out there, too, whether that be in public or in the basement playroom.
Also, they are old enough to understand delayed time outs. For an action that requires time out, or if it is repeated, we will tell the kids (Max is my sweetpea, 2.5, and Sam is almost 5) that when we get home (or where ever we are going) they will have a time out. After the time out, they are always asked why they got the time out, and they almost always know. Delaying has little effect on whether or not they remember the behavior they got in trouble for (usually it's if it's chaotic and a lot was going on so they aren't sure which behavior warranted the time out, so we always clarify, too).
That said, I typically use other, natural consequences. Skipping book/rocking because of procrastination at bed time is exactly what I would have done. If he throws a toy, he will not get it back. If they are misbehaving in public, we leave (of course, there are exceptions to that). If they are whining or fit throwing, we ignore them until they can talk nicely.
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