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Leanne78 August 7th, 2012 06:15 AM

Annoying first time advice
 
For you newbie mommies, what is some of the most annoying well meaning advice you have gotten from people? I can remember people going on and on about how everything was going to change now and how I'd never be able to do X,Y,Z after having the baby. True or not, I usually wanted to tell them to shut it. I try to be so careful now not to repeat the same old cliched phrases to the new mommies!

JNIEVES August 7th, 2012 06:47 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
My co-worker keeps telling me that I'm gaining too much weight and that I'm never going to lose it all after the baby is born. I tried nicely to explain to her that if I am never my pre-pregnancy weight again that its probably healthier for me. I am 5'6 and was 115lbs before I got pregnant, and a heavy smoker to boot. Yet all she can do is talk to me about what I eat and how much I eat. I may punch her out before this is done.

newserenity August 7th, 2012 07:33 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
When I was pregnant with my first people would crawl out of the woodwork to tell me their horrible labor stories and colicky baby stories! I was terrified by the time I gave birth!

turtlefly August 7th, 2012 08:00 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
people are telling you don't know what your in for, and some of the the things me and nick do together how we wont be able to after the baby's born.... and i know what i'm in for, my whole life is about to change, and i don't know why they make it sound so negative i look forward to the change, and we will be able to spend time together, it will be the three of us! i can't wait! its gonna be a long, exhaustion, and wonderful journey. and i couldn't be happier

meddleman August 7th, 2012 08:30 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
I would get the most incorrect breast feeding advice. It was so annoying and am glad I researched it so much On my own. Even from my mom!!

NewGurl August 7th, 2012 08:39 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
Only annoying advice Iv had so far is how I have to get married since Im pregnant.

actually there is one more theres this checkout lady at the grocery store who is so judgmental about the food I buy I just shop at Walmart now It was really annoying. She would huff every time she picked up something she didn't approve of actually had the nerve to say one day that the sodas "had better be for him" (my BF) and dear lord the day I bought Tilapia I thought she was gonna try to call the cops.

Think4Yourself August 7th, 2012 08:43 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
What always annoyed the crap out of me was every day "Get as MUCH sleep as you can now, because when the baby comes, you won't get any!" Um, yeah, ok I am carrying an almost 7 pound baby, an extra 30 pounds, everything on me is aching and sore, I can't even move positions with out serious help, yeah I will get RIGHT on taking a super long amazing night of sleep. LOL.

And then I can't count the times I heard labor horror stories. Why do women do that?! Women need confidence, not bullying!!

Belita August 7th, 2012 08:49 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
I'm mostly getting the labor stories and "do this now while you still can."

Durango14 August 7th, 2012 09:41 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
My brother has 2 boys and he loves to give me pregnancy advice. Umm last time I checked, HE'S never been pregnant and has no idea what it feels like. If I say my back is sore, he'll automatically say "oh yeah, it's your Sciatic nerve, it hurts like hell!" ....insert eye roll here.

GiaTortilla August 7th, 2012 10:24 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
I'm always getting the "You have to make a proper sleeping/feeding schedule" and I'm like :O I know! You told the first hundred times. I'm aware I'm going to have to try and get on a good schedule for both me and baby in regards to feeding and night time feedings. I'm being talked out of not having my birth all natural, that epidural is the best way because it's easier, but I don't want it that way. I appreciate the advice of course, but it's almost like they're trying to drill into my head!

Leanne78 August 7th, 2012 10:29 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
Gia - Don't stress a sleep schedule at first. It's not going to happen right away. Baby is going to function on his/her own time table. There's my unsolicited advice! ;p And don't let anyone talk you out of the birth experience you want. That's a pet peeve of mine too!

newserenity August 7th, 2012 10:32 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
Oh and around here (East TN) a lot of people will tell you not to breastfeed and to give them formula with added rice cereal and feed them mashed potatoes at like 1 month old. :rolleyes:

NewGurl August 7th, 2012 10:46 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
Gia Im a first timer going for a natural birth to and I think Bobbi is as well. Dont listen to other ppls crap If you need some extra support I hang out on the natural birth board some to get a feel for things. They can be a little to "granola" for me sometimes but its so nice just to hear that it is very possible and that Im not crazy for wanting to try it. Im honestly not that worried about it anymore If something else happens im not going to beat myself up about it but I really believe Im capable of having and enjoying a natural birth.

clm817 August 7th, 2012 11:32 AM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
I'm not a first timer but I love when we're out shopping and DH and the kids are somewhere else and I'll get people thinking I am a first timer and they'll start spouting off bull and then DH and kids will join me and I'll say oh yea this is my 4th and you can quite literally watch them open mouth -insert foot.

melaniek85 August 7th, 2012 12:48 PM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
It's not really advice, I guess, but my mom has been annoying. She thinks I'm crazy because I want a natural birth and wanna try it without meds. Whats getting to me is that she keeps saying "my pelvis was too small and I couldn't give birth naturally. You will probably take after me and need a c-section too." Stop telling me that, yes, it's possible but our body types are so different. She's 5'3" and was small. I'm 5'9" with big hips, so she can't compare it to me. lol. Also, everyone tells me the pain is too bad and I will want an epidural. At the birthing class the other day (the lady doesn't know what I'm into and what type of birth I want), she said that people who don't get epidurals are crazy and meditation, hyponobirthing and lamaze doesn't work and is pretty stupid. Um, thanks, for talking down about the birthing methods I'm interested in.

-Brandy- August 7th, 2012 12:49 PM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
My aunt was telling me this weekend how much things are going to change once the little one is here...with my dogs! It almost felt like she was telling me I should get rid of my dogs now because we are having a child. Umm crazy lady, those are my dogs and at times they are like children to me- yes they are big dogs (boxer is 72 lbs and sheperd is 43lbs) but they aren't going anywhere. They will adapt just like everything else will.

GiaTortilla August 7th, 2012 01:02 PM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
Thanks ladies, I'm glad I have some support on that. My mom is probably the only one on my side about that, but my family has so many kids, it's like it doesn't phase them anymore, or they are always induced. That's not appealing to me in the slightest, and thanks for the reminder newgurl, I've been wanting to check out a group like that in my area.

And thank you Leanne! That was my first instinct, was that I have no clue how my baby will sleep and want to eat and such, it's easy to assume you can get things perfect, but let's be realistic here. I told the people who told me that, and they just think it's easy peasy if you know how to do it, whatever.

Sam914 August 7th, 2012 01:16 PM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
The sleep one is my favorite, as if you can store the sleep in a bottle and use it later. Personally i think its almost helpful to be uncomfortable and waking up at night so you are used to it!

mrs.wagner.10 August 7th, 2012 01:38 PM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GiaTortilla (Post 26372701)
Thanks ladies, I'm glad I have some support on that. My mom is probably the only one on my side about that, but my family has so many kids, it's like it doesn't phase them anymore, or they are always induced. That's not appealing to me in the slightest, and thanks for the reminder newgurl, I've been wanting to check out a group like that in my area.

And thank you Leanne! That was my first instinct, was that I have no clue how my baby will sleep and want to eat and such, it's easy to assume you can get things perfect, but let's be realistic here. I told the people who told me that, and they just think it's easy peasy if you know how to do it, whatever.

My mom is complete opposite, She thinks i am insane for doing a natural birth. She keeps telling me I need to stop being so selfish and stop trying to be super women. Even DH thinks I am stupid. I have news for everyone I am going to do it MY way. I am not 100% against the epi, I just want to try and do it with out it. She was like well what if you have to have a emergency c section they will knock you out and you wont wake up for hours after the baby is born and if the pain is so bad you wont let the baby drop and blah blah blah I have heard it all. Granted I have never gave birth before but why tell me all of these things instead of letting me try. My plan when it comes to L&D is to try and go for as long as I can with out the epi. IF i can't do it I will get it. But I'm not going to go in and say first thing i want the epi.

The annoying things I have been told are L&D hurts and I need to request the epi as soon as I get into the hospital. Pitocen contractions hurt worse then "normal" contractions and I just need to be prepared for the pain and not even try to do it if I am induced. The horror storys of L&D. How I need to formula feed because its so convenient for everyone to be able to feed the baby. How I need to walk so many miles a day by such time. How I need to use gas drops when baby is fussy. the list goes on and on. I really wish people would leave pregnant people alone and let them experience things with out having how person a's birth went and thats how yours will go and you need to do this and that and yada yada yada.. oh and one that happend just the other day thats drove me batty is how I need to let my infant stay with people and pawn him off so that he will be use to sleeping at other peoples houses and I can have some down time. Ok, I am not against my child spending the night with grandparents, but he will be five or six before that happens. I chose to have this baby it is my responsibility to take care of him and not "pawn: him off.

GiaTortilla August 7th, 2012 02:04 PM

Re: Annoying first time advice
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mrs.wagner.10 (Post 26372866)
My mom is complete opposite, She thinks i am insane for doing a natural birth. She keeps telling me I need to stop being so selfish and stop trying to be super women. Even DH thinks I am stupid. I have news for everyone I am going to do it MY way. I am not 100% against the epi, I just want to try and do it with out it. She was like well what if you have to have a emergency c section they will knock you out and you wont wake up for hours after the baby is born and if the pain is so bad you wont let the baby drop and blah blah blah I have heard it all. Granted I have never gave birth before but why tell me all of these things instead of letting me try. My plan when it comes to L&D is to try and go for as long as I can with out the epi. IF i can't do it I will get it. But I'm not going to go in and say first thing i want the epi.

The annoying things I have been told are L&D hurts and I need to request the epi as soon as I get into the hospital. Pitocen contractions hurt worse then "normal" contractions and I just need to be prepared for the pain and not even try to do it if I am induced. The horror storys of L&D. How I need to formula feed because its so convenient for everyone to be able to feed the baby. How I need to walk so many miles a day by such time. How I need to use gas drops when baby is fussy. the list goes on and on. I really wish people would leave pregnant people alone and let them experience things with out having how person a's birth went and thats how yours will go and you need to do this and that and yada yada yada.. oh and one that happend just the other day thats drove me batty is how I need to let my infant stay with people and pawn him off so that he will be use to sleeping at other peoples houses and I can have some down time. Ok, I am not against my child spending the night with grandparents, but he will be five or six before that happens. I chose to have this baby it is my responsibility to take care of him and not "pawn: him off.

Yes, exactly!! I find it super insulting when people underestimate my ability to have a natural birth. I mean yeah me too, I've never given birth before, but that doesn't mean I couldn't do it. At least give me that chance, I'm only doing what's safe for my baby, my goodness. I think my mom would opt for me to have an epidural, but when she gave birth to me, she came in too late so she couldn't get an epidural. So she pretty much had me natural as well, and even though she admitted it hurt, she's still standing obviously lol. Ugh, don't get me started on the formula feeding as well!

That's a big reason why I distinctly put on my BS invites to not bring numerous amounts of formula, at least until I ask for it. For now, I'm going to do what I can to make sure breastfeeding goes smoothly. I know I'm not experienced yet, but that's part of being a parent. You live and learn, I wish people would understand that, surely they had to go through the same thing at one point. But whooaaa, what's that about having your infant spend time at other people's houses?! Umm sorry, but that's not something I would be even interested in. Same as you, my infant will not be spending time at anyone's house unless I'm there. I can't believe someone would suggest that, that's just weird.


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