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-   -   Dr. Phil (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1944-2012-playroom/2605261-dr-phil.html)

LoverlyJules December 13th, 2012 02:20 PM

Dr. Phil
Interesting episode today ... First segment about attachment parenting (extended breastfeeding, baby wearing, and cosleeping) ...

Anybody else see it?

michellelove0502 December 13th, 2012 02:23 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
No, tell us about it!

LoverlyJules December 13th, 2012 02:34 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
Woman was still breastfeeding her 4 year old ... Wearing her 4month old all day ... Cosleeping in the family bed with both children and husband. Most in audience thought extended breastfeeding was gross and unnecessary ... Thought her parenting style leads to a lack of independence in the children.

I'm not sure how I feel about breastfeeding a child that old ... I'm fine with baby wearing and safe cosleeping ... I know I like having Madalyn close to me! DH thinks I hold her a bit too much, but he is ok with it because it's my style ... I just try not to interfere when he's watching her.

michellelove0502 December 13th, 2012 03:01 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
I agree with the lack of independence and would never do any of those things for that long but to each their own. Every parent is different and has their own style. Thats interesting though I wish I would have seen it.

Jinnah December 13th, 2012 03:26 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
I wish I had seen it... sounds interesting. I don't think it's necessary to breastfeed that long. I think a year is enough, but that's just me.

It isn't safe to co-sleep with a baby and an older child, so I hope someone told her that!

Mrs.Paradise December 13th, 2012 03:31 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
who am I to judge someone else? but for me I think I will be doing good to make it to a year with bf... I LOVE wearing Landon... but I try to put him down whenever he will let me which is rarely... and I prefer not to co sleep... just because I dont get real sleep when hes in our bed...

jlstebbins December 13th, 2012 04:15 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
Ok, I will put my opinion here...but this is just what I do..not how everyone should do it:

Breastfeeding a 4 year old is TOTALLY not in any shape or form what I would ever consider in my thought process. I was a teacher at a preschool for 3,4, & 5 years olds. And seeing any of those kids breastfeeding, even the 3 year olds would totally weird me out. One year is all (in my opinion) what a child needs.

Remember on Grown-ups..."How old is he?", "Uhhh, 48 months!"!! LOL!

Ok, bed sharing just doesnt work for us really. I just dont sleep enough or feel comfortable doing it. :)

And I dont really wear Coleson much. I do think its super cute though for all the mommies that do it. Maybe I need a Ergo or Moby. :) I have a baby carrier, but I worry about hip problems..:(

summithorse December 13th, 2012 04:18 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
Darn, I wanted to see that one, but Miley spent her entire nap time escaping from her bed, so my one hour to myself was not going to happen today. I think it's wierd that there's a category/name for different parenting styles now. Does anyone look up a type and decide that's what they're doing?

LoverlyJules December 13th, 2012 04:20 PM

Re: Dr. Phil

Originally Posted by Jinnah (Post 26871579)
I wish I had seen it... sounds interesting. I don't think it's necessary to breastfeed that long. I think a year is enough, but that's just me.

It isn't safe to co-sleep with a baby and an older child, so I hope someone told her that!

The mom on the show said the co-sleep baby, mom, daddy, 4year old ... So the kids are on outsides ... Didn't think that was the proper way, but I could be wrong.

bostoncreampie December 13th, 2012 04:22 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
I have many friends who have nursed to age 4, they usually wean then. There is one mama in my mom's group who nursed her son to 6 or so. I would never, 2.5 or 3 is the limit for me I think. But I will say that these women are totally awesome and normal. Not extreme or weird in person at all. And the family bed thing is more normal in my circle of friends than not... I don't think twice about that being normal.

Eta I would feel fine sleeping with a baby on the outside with a rail, me, dh, and then a 4 yr old. I don't see any safety issue with that?

jlstebbins December 13th, 2012 04:28 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
Bedsharing isnt common around here that i really know of. But it just doesnt work for me. I dont get enough deep sleep to feel good the next day. But Coleson wouldnt sleep well with us anyway because DH moves alot. And DH sleeps WAY to deep for a baby to be in our bed safely.

And 6 years old....AHHH!! She must of pulled him out of kindergarten 2 times a day to breastfeed. lol. JK! :)

michellelove0502 December 13th, 2012 05:41 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
I don't think women are weird who breast feed for that long at all, I just think that is their personal choice... I don't really think a child needs to breast feed for that long but just my opinion. I just could not imagine my 4 year old neice still breastfeeding. She was off of her bottle at 8 months when she started walking so if she would have breastfed till 4 that would have been extreme to me. Co sleeping is REALLY popular among my friends and family, I think me and my sister are the only ones to not do it lol

Teeniemama December 13th, 2012 07:56 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
I didn't see Dr. Phil but I saw that magazine cover and it creeped me out. That kid was big enough to get his own drink out of the fridge. I suppose there is some benefit to breastfeeding your kids till they're quite old? Is the mom not ready to let them grow up? I bet that kid will need therapy later.

bostoncreampie December 13th, 2012 08:12 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
I just have to say to those of you who assume that these mothers are doing it for themselves and that they are somehow pushing it on their child, you are WRONG! :D At least the handful of mothers I have met who have nursed past 3 or 4. They are gentle, loving mothers who want nothing more than for their children to have weaned 3 years ago but are trying to follow their children's lead and support their emotional needs. My Le Leche League leader in NY was still nursing her 5 year old and each meeting spent time emoting about how badly she wanted her son to be done but how happy she was to continue to follow hos lead. Yes it's a bit odd and not at all appealing but have any of you who are suggesting that these moms are doing it for themselves even nursed a toddler? There is just no way on earth a mother would #1 be able to force the issue and #2 not want them to self wean already. Maybe I am wrong but this is coming from my experience with 2 moms I know who have nursed 6 year olds and a handful nursing 3-4 yr olds. It's also been determined that the natural age of weaning is 7 cross culturally, I think the ONLY reason it's weird is because it is not socially acceptable.

Peytonsmomma December 13th, 2012 09:06 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
for me im not comfortable wearing my children to me i wore him once and i felt like i was pregnant! i love the benefits of breastfeeding but unfortunately it doesnt work for me, the only time he sleeps in our bed is when he falls asleep nursing in our bed

lovely.carlie December 13th, 2012 11:43 PM

Re: Dr. Phil
I honestly wish I could ebf. And if I could I'd do it for however long was needed to give my daughter the very best chance of a healthy life. I love being close to her and cannot imagine doing anything possible to give her the best of what she needs. We Co-sleep and really like it too. I think every parent has their own way and should do what makes them feel that they are doing their best for the child.

doremi December 14th, 2012 12:03 AM

Re: Dr. Phil
It was hard for me not to get a tiny bit mad reading these responses. Before I had Josiah, I had the mindset that 8-12 months would be how long I would breast-feed, and then we'd be done. The one year mark rolled around, and he was still nursing every 3-4 hours. He was a picky eater, and hated cows milk, and was in the 10th percentile for weight. Of course I kept bf-ing him! I night weaned him at age 2, and he was not fully weaned until 41 months, when I was 5 weeks pregnant with Jamison. I am not a hippie granola mom... never expected to bf that long. To have so many people say it is gross or weird is frustrating to me, when it is directly in line with the recommendations of the World Health Organization for optimal health! Yes, I find it weird when a child above age 2 is clawing at the mom's boob all day long, especially in public. Once they are eating solids, it is entirely possible for bf-ing to be done in the privacy of your own home. An example: we took a music class when Josiah was 3, and it was only a 45 minute class. There was a mother of another 3 year old who ended up nursing multiple times during class. By the time Josiah was that age, he nursed first thing in the morning, and before bed. It never would have occurred to him to be trying to lift my shirt up in public, and it wouldn't have been allowed!!
The verbatim recommendation from World Health Organization:
Breastfeeding is an unequalled way of providing ideal food for the healthy growth and development of infants; it is also an integral part of the reproductive process with important implications for the health of mothers. As a global public health recommendation, infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health2. Thereafter, to meet their evolving nutritional requirements, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond.

Oh, and as for the co-sleeping, it can be done safely with two kids. I co-sleep with Jamison and Josiah at naptime. Josiah is old enough that I don't have to worry about him falling out of the bed, so he sleeps all the way to the left in the king sized bed, me in the middle, and Jamison on the right. I wouldn't do it all the way through the night when I was in deep sleep, but it works for us at naptime.

ashley5 December 14th, 2012 05:16 AM

Re: Dr. Phil
I didn't have any plans bfing my daughter I just wanted to go as long as she needed/wanted to which ended up being about 18months i believe. For moms that go longer, i dont think it's for me, but it's their choice on how they chose to raise their kids. I dont feel comfortable telling another mother hey you shouldn't be bfing your toddler. It wouldn't make me feel great as a mom if other ladies told me something similar, and i'm choosing this path b/c i think it's whats best for my child and family. I guess I don't understand why people have to be on one side of the fence or the other, why can't we all be happy that moms are chosing to put their childs needs in front of their own, and choosing to be good parents. Whether it's bfing a toddler or co-sleeping.

I'm just happy they care that much about their children, instead of the opposite kinds of parents and not caring a crap about them. I say do what you feel is best for your family and forget what others on the outside think you should do with your family. It's not weird because it's different. like someone said earlier the only time i think it's inappropriate is when a 6yr old is lifting his moms shirt up in public, but she chooses to do that in the private of her mom or somewhere else, it's fine with me.

jlstebbins December 14th, 2012 05:35 AM

Re: Dr. Phil
Definitely agree do whats best for your family. Im just saying in my above posts that I would never choose to b/f a toddler. I would make sure and wean before they would really even know much difference.

But truly sorry for offending anyone, I was just saying thats how I will be with my baby. As for my plans, I will wean at one year. Im glad we all do things different, b/c thats how God made us and that way no one is the same. :)

bostoncreampie December 14th, 2012 07:46 AM

Re: Dr. Phil
Cautx, if it wasn't natural to still be nursing at that age, and if the moms weren't consenting to the extended breastfeeding, I would agree with you. But a mother cannot be avoiding putting an end to it because of her own needs when she is following mother natures course and happy with it. Clearly mothers who nurse that long know full well they could end it, but continue to for strong beliefs that maybe those who haven't extended nursed won't understand. Not feelings of not wanting to let go, but realizing the emotional benefits an older child receives from nursing and wanting to be supportive and sensitive to that. There is nothing selfish about following what's natural and full of benefits, especially when it's a personal choice to continue to do so. Just because mothers who extend breastfeed often wish it would end, they clearly don't mind it to the point of forcing weaning.

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