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Mom2LillieAidan November 16th, 2012 03:14 PM

So what's up with your SO now?? Curious cuz I saw a mention in the "It's Finally Friday" post.. Inquiring minds want to know. :)

wanttobeinvienna November 17th, 2012 04:52 AM

Re: wanttobeinvienna
Oh wow, Thank you SOOOOOO much for asking, that was very kind of you!

So I guess threatening, and then actually, leaving scared him into talking!

Let's see- so I told him I was done with our relationship and him acting like a child with our pregnancy. And then I didn't answer is calls, texts or emails for a few days, to send him a message that I was serious. The last thing I had said to him was that one of the reaons I fell in love with him when we started dating was his relationship with his son. I said that we had both agreed that we would never date someone who didnt embrace our children. I told him I still felt that way today, and just like he wouldn't be with someone didn't love Mac, I wasn't going to be with anyone who didn't love my children. Born or unborn. Now, I have to admit that the responses and stories I heard on here really helped soften my heart, but that was only IF he started talking to me!

After a few days I agreed to meet him for lunch and he talked. He finally opened up about where this unbelievable fear comes from and most of it stems from his mom. That although he is 43 years old, she is going to disown him for us getting pregnant outside of marriage... and even though its a different relationship, he loves his mom, and I totally get that.

So, we talked and talked and talked, and it helped... we also go to therapy...
I believe that going to work through this , but it is going to take a ton of work, and him continuing to stay open. We have another ultrasound on Tuesday, and he is coming. We are going today to watch him in the parade. So, day by day, you know!

Thanks for asking, and any advice is always welcomed!!!

CartersMommy November 17th, 2012 05:31 AM

Re: wanttobeinvienna
That makes me happy for you. I think something that stood out to me is that he was so worried about his moms disowning him. If she is a fantastic mother she might be disappointed or upset (I might be) but she will love him, you and this baby past it. Keep on working on it. Relationships are no walk in the park I am sure you already know that much :) ((HUGS))

QueenCrafty November 17th, 2012 06:17 AM

Re: wanttobeinvienna
I'm glad he opened up! Hopefully he will continue to have an open dialogue and you can get through it.

Mom2LillieAidan November 17th, 2012 06:29 AM

Re: wanttobeinvienna
Aw it warms my heart to read that you're working things out. It breaks my heart to think that a woman is going through this alone. Especially because most men are babies about having babies (hahaha)

mommy220 November 17th, 2012 08:13 AM

Re: wanttobeinvienna
I am so glad to hear that things are working out for you two.

navywifey2003 November 17th, 2012 12:51 PM

Re: wanttobeinvienna
I hope you guys continue to work through all of the hard times!

crawmommy November 18th, 2012 05:18 AM

Re: wanttobeinvienna
This is very good to hear! Hopefully it will make you stronger in the long run and hopefully his mother comes around.

wanttobeinvienna November 18th, 2012 05:58 AM

Re: wanttobeinvienna
Thanks everyone for the support. For all of us involved, I hope we will continue down this path of healing and growing stronger. We had a great day yesterday, first at the parade, then at a party in the afternoon, and yesterday evening we had dinner with my family for a late birthday celebration for him.
Today he is going out of town for a funeral, and this week we are on opposite schedules, and he will be leaving town for Thanksgiving, so we will not get much together time, which is always hard :/ We will go to the ultrasound on Tuesday though, and hopefully we will see that this stupid clot has disappeared!

Thank you again!

TeresaV November 18th, 2012 06:05 AM

Re: wanttobeinvienna
Glad to see things are looking up. The last thing you need right now is added stress and heartache.

ashleykathleen November 18th, 2012 09:50 AM

Re: wanttobeinvienna
I'm glad to hear things are looking up for you! Just wanted to let you know I'm going through something similar...and it's not the first time. My DF's family is and always has been very against us having children out of wedlock. With my daughter, we were young and I didn't want to get married just because we were having a baby. His family was furious. With my son, we had been tentatively trying to plan a date when I got pregnant. I wanted to wait until after baby was born so we weren't rushing things and so I wasn't huge pregnant at my wedding. This time we are engaged and got pregnant sooner than expected. He wants to run off and get married before baby is born. Again, I don't want to be big at my wedding. We know this is our last so I have no problem waiting since I know this wont ever be an issue again. He has been a big jerk about the whole thing because of how his family will react when we tell them. Needless to say, this has caused quite a bit of tension between us. Message me if you need to vent or anything!

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