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navywifey2003 January 2nd, 2013 10:37 AM

Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Enjoy getting to know each other!

MrsLat January 2nd, 2013 12:39 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Hey there mama!

How are you feeling? When do you find out for sure if you have a B/G, G/G, or B/B?

loveneverfails January 2nd, 2013 03:26 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Hey! Hopefully at the high risk doctor on the 15th. We're thinking B is a boy and I hope A is a girl. How are you doing?

MrsLat January 2nd, 2013 05:57 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
My twins were B/G. Baby A was my son and Baby B was Jocelyn. It was an amazing experience!

I am finally getting excited about shopping for another little boy. .It was hard initially because all the girl stuff is so much cuter lol. Where did you end up getting your mini cribs from? I am thinking I want to buy one of those again.. but I was hoping to find one at somewhere other than BRU, they tend to make everything more expensive...

I am on pregnancy #3, I have gotten cheap lol.

loveneverfails January 3rd, 2013 03:54 AM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
We haven't ordered them yet but I agree. BRU and Buy Buy Baby were really expensive. I did see some good deals on some on Amazon and Overstock so we might order from there. DH's parents mentioned buying us cribs so we're waiting to see if they will follow through.

I do want a girl very badly. At first I wanted two girls but then it started to make me sad if we never had a boy together. DH has a son but he says he really wants another boy. We have one frozen embryo. I have no idea if we'll ever use it. I really want to but DH says he's unsure. Part of me also hopes our issues would magiclly correct themselves and maybe one day we would get a surprise BFP.

MrsLat January 3rd, 2013 01:17 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Aw, well in that case I think it would be really perfect if you were able to have one of each. I don't know much about the IVF process so forgive me, I am curious! Was this your first attempt? Did you just implant the two eggs? And how long do you have to decide about that last one?

I hope that one day you get a surprise BFP too! Then hubby will have no choice but to be on board, lol! ;)

loveneverfails January 3rd, 2013 03:34 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
This was our second attempt. The first was in July and it went ok. The doctors thought I responded to the meds well...actually too well. They kept telling me my levels were too high but when they took my eggs it turned out that out of 14 only 5 were mature enough to attempt fertilization. We had already planned to use ICSI where they inject the sperm into the egg because DH has severe issues. All 5 fertlized but only one made it to a good stage of growth on the day of transfer and it was of average quality. They are graded with AA being the highest and DD being the lowest and DD is not suitable for transfer. The one we transfered in July was a B-C. The B- is the part that actually becomes the baby and the C is the part that becomes the placenta. Weird but the second letter is what natters the most because the baby part tends to develop no matter what but the placenta needs to be good for implantation and anything below a B has been shown to have an inscrease in risk for miscarriage.

I knew right away that it didn't work. It was just a feeling I had.

The second time around in Sept/Oct. We ran into the same issues but they upped my meds which put me at high risk for complications but we ended up getting 18 eggs and 15 mature and 14 fertlized. Most didn't develop to high quality but three did and they were graded BB. We chose to put back two even though we knew we were in a significantly better place than we were in the first cycle. I still didn't think both would take. DH says he knew the moment he saw the little blobs of cells on the screen at the transfer that it was going to be twins. I had too much fear of it failing again to even consider the thought of only putting back one. I knew it was our last chance.

With our one frozen its not much of an issue of wanting to have another one but more of cost. It would be about $4000 to use it and we've already paid $500 to store it until June. Then we have to move it and pay another $500 to store it for a year. We did all of this through a military program which was cheaper than regular doctors but DH is getting out in June and we won't have that option again.

We've both agreed that we will never prevent again and if it happens it happens. After all of this we would never not want a baby.

Sorry for the book haha.

MrsLat January 3rd, 2013 06:22 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Don't be sorry! I think it is really interesting, I just haven't known anyone who has done it to ask about the process. I did know that it is very expensive. I am glad that there was a military program that was able to help a little with the cost.

So, DH has an older son. (I see that in the picture and remember from my questions on potty training) And this will be your first two biological children, correct? That is great!

My twins were spontaneous, I was only 18 years old--unmarried, very scared. How are you doing with the idea of two? Are you really excited? I was really excited, the father was terrified, but it is just a really cool experience that not many people get to go through.

loveneverfails January 4th, 2013 04:12 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Thanks. Yes these are our first two together. He had SS at 21 and his ex was 18. They were seperated before SS was even out of the hospital. He was born 16 weeks early so he has never really done the newborn thing with someone. He was a single dad until SS was almost 2.

I'm really excited for them. Nervous too. I still have extreme fears that something will happen. I still haven't told my students even though I and very much showing. I was feeling better but then I started having these pinching pains at what feels like my cervix. I was told Baby A is very very low and basically sitting on it. Baby B is very high and far back so he/she is hurting my ribs. I swear I feel a new ligament strech every day. And I still have such a long way to go. Is this normal twin pregnancy stuff? A women at my work had twins but she has a very long torso and is very tall. She went all the way to 38 weeks. I am average height and short torso so I feel like they are literally taking up my whole body.

I'm so sorry your lost your son.

MrsLat January 4th, 2013 08:31 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Thanks, my twins were born 16 weeks early also, and that is why he did not make it. I just thank heaven everyday for the opportunity I have with my daughter. It really just reminds me of what an amazing thing twins are!

Baby B was always really high for me too. She cramped my stomach and made it really hard to eat and caused a lot of pain. Baby A also, like you, sat really low on my cervix. While they are this little, they will move around alot and sometimes B will get up really high. Hopefully you will get some breaks when he moves. Eventually they will find a spot where they kind of just stay because they run out of room. (I could always tell the nurses literally EXACTLY where to find their heartbeats because they never were able to really move. And then if you are lucky they will both get into a headdown position and hopefully it will help you be able to breathe a little better!

I have a short torso too, so I got really uncomfortable early. I felt like I was in my 3rd tri at like 15 weeks! You will grow outward farther than you think your skin will be able to stretch! Have faith it will though! lol

loveneverfails January 6th, 2013 11:51 AM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
They are miracles. Does your daughter have any lasting effects? My SS has a lot of scar tissue in his left lung. When hes sick he requires high dose breathing treatments and up until he was about 5 1/2 to 6 he required regular breathing treatments to keep from getting sick and wheezing. He is also really small but some of that is not from being early. His mom is barely 5 foot and my DH is average. He was very small as a baby and toddler though. He also has a very raspy voice from tubes constantly bieng down his throat. I majored in speech and those could have been corrected to some extent when he was younger but that didn't happen. Overall though he has been pretty heathy the older he gets.

MrsLat January 6th, 2013 06:15 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Jocelyn does have some lasting effects, honestly though, she has done amazingly well for her beginning. She was born at 1lb 9oz. (Well actually both were the same weight). She did suffer brain bleeds.. A grade 4 on the right side of her brain and a grade 2 on her left. (A grade 4 is the worst possible and pretty much guarantees some sort of disability). She was on the ventilator for 8 weeks and has CLD (That is the lung disease/damage that I am assuming might be part of the cause of your SS's lung issues, it happens to almost all micropreemies). Because of that she does have asthma and has had to use nebulizer/inhaler treatments in the winter and basically every time she gets sick. So I can relate to that.

She is also really small, like your SS is. She is turning 5 in April and is about 28lbs. She wears 2T size clothing and really small shoes. I am not very big, only 5'3 so that could be part.. but when they are in the NICU, they sometimes give them a lot of steroids to help their lungs and that can hinder their full growth potential. So they warned us that she would probably be petite. She doesn't have a raspy voice or anything, but they did tell us that was possible. But she does have tummy problems and gets constipated really easy.

She does have developmental delay. She didn't walk until almost 2, didn't potty train until almost 4. We are getting her evaluated to see if she may need to wait one extra year before starting school. But, she has no diagnosed disabilities so honestly, I am thrilled with her progress!

loveneverfails January 7th, 2013 02:31 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
They sound pretty similar. SS is 7 and wears size 5 *some* size 6 and still fits into some 4s. He wears a size 12 shoe now which is the same size as my low average size nephew does and he is 4 years old. He does have the CLD which is not completely like asthma for him but thats what most of the time the doctors use to describe it. He had lots of steriods and was on pulmicort regularly until about 3. He's just on xoponex now. He had a hard time potty training and I wasn't around when he started walking but it was around 17 - 18 months. He still has a very hard time running, jumping and pedaling a bike. His knees never formed correctly from being in the NICU. As far as school, he probably would have done better being held back a year. His birthday is in september so had he been born on time he would have missed the deadline anyway and would be in 1st now instead of 2nd. He did ok in Kinder but struggled in 1st with reading. I'm a sped teacher so I pushed him hard this summer long and he finally caught on to reading. He struggles greatly with attention though and getting his work done. He is very immature for his age. We struggle with that issue daily. Overall though I'm impressed that he's been keeping up with his peers as much as he has. They don't seem to notice the immaturity but he tends to pick friends that are also immature. Not so great sometimes because he doesn't have great peer role models.

I think for some kids holding them back works best. I think in my SSs case it would have been in his best interest because most of the time he feels like the lowest in the class and if he was held back he would be on top. He also wouldn't be that far off in age from kids since most in his grade are older than him. He is by far one of the youngest.

MrsLat January 7th, 2013 02:47 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
See, that is my line of thinking. I would rather hold her back now, before she even begins then have to worry about holding her back after kindergarten. She was born in April so she is already going to be one of the younger in her class, if she was held back one year she really wouldn't be that much older than the other kids. I just really want to get her off on the right foot.

Here is a question for you, since you have some experience with education and special needs... do you know anything about like Montessori-based learning programs or anything like that. I guess I am just terrified she is going to get lost amongst the public school system. Her father is an Occupational Therapist so he has been able to help her with a lot of the physical developmental delays but we are really at a loss as to some ideas to help the mental delays. I know that she isn't technically "disabled" but she does certainly have some special needs, if you know what I mean? I would love your input.

loveneverfails January 7th, 2013 03:02 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
I agree. Kids know when they repeat and studies show it can have a serious impact on finishing school...whereas if they start older they don't see the difference. Everyone has their own opinion though.

As far as getting lost in the school system, it really depends on the school district and even down to the school and teachers themselves. I've seen kids come in with DDs and on paper you might think they are ok and then come to find out they can hardly write their name in 1st grade. Kids can only be DD until the day they turn 7 and most districts want to hurry up and get that label gone because re-evals are time consuming. I've never worked in a Montessori-based center but I have had kids come from them and sometimes it works out great. They did much better there than they did at a structured school but *most* of the time when you have a kid with special needs they tend to do better in a structured environment. Schools *should* have leveled reading programs set up and RTI (response to intervention) if not and you go the public school route don't be afriad to throw that out there. I had a kid come from a public montessori based alternative learning center. It was actually a set of siblings across many grade levels and three with IEPs. One that was coming to my caseload did not yet have an IEP but the school was on their way to getting her one. Mostly due to behavior issues. She was slightly delayed in some areas. After less than a week in a structured co-taught/inclusion classroom she had zero behavior issues and was one of the top students in the class academically. It was amazing to see how different environments can really make or break a student. Overall you will know what works best for your daughter and if its not working speak up and have something done about it.

MrsLat January 7th, 2013 03:10 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Hmm... definitely a lot to think about. Thanks for your perspective. Jocelyn is extremely well behaved but does tend to give up a lot. She struggles with writing and recognizing letters and words. I think I am going to talk to her dad a little more about holding her back and keeping her in a pre-k program a little longer to see if that helps. Thanks again!

loveneverfails January 7th, 2013 03:23 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
I'm not sure of your states standards but if shes recognizing some and some words she is ahead of the game already. SS aruged with me that the letter "A" was his name..not a letter but his whole name. Two weeks into Kinder he came home and said "Hey Katie...guess what? A is a letter of the alphabet."

Writing is very difficult for my SS...still to this day it's horrible. Tracing highlighters has really helped.

MrsLat January 7th, 2013 03:28 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Aw, that is kind of cute of your stepson! I have been practicing writing with her. She is getting a little better. I hadn't thought of tracing highlighters. That is a good idea.

loveneverfails January 7th, 2013 03:48 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
Yea haha as immature as he is sometimes hes too smart for his own good. Once this summer I was testing him on his reading level and he was missing tons of words but hours earlier he had read a much higher level book. I was beyond frustrated so I sat him down and we went over the words...and he said " Yea I know them. I just thought the other words sounded better in the story so I changed them."

MrsLat January 7th, 2013 04:08 PM

Re: Loveneverfails and Valerie.June2013
LOL. I love it! He sounds like he has a very independent little soul :) How has he taken the news of a sibling? Well TWO siblings? Is he excited?

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