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-   -   Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry) (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f2038-2013-playroom/2644281-nervous-about-hospital-very-long-sorry.html)

eshute April 18th, 2013 02:38 PM

Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
So, while living in Pittsburgh I was seeing a group of midwives whom I loved. Very interested in my personal well being, asked me a lot of questions, etc. I felt very comfortable with them and was very excited at the idea of having a midwife versus a doctor and knowing that one of the midwives I had seen would deliver my baby.

Now that we've moved, I had 2 options for an OB. I chose a practice of one NP and four OB's. No one in this town has a very good reputation, but the nearest alternatives are at least an hour away. The NP doesn't do deliveries, she just sees patients until they are 36 weeks, then the patient starts on a rotation of whatever doc is in the office is who you see. Which means I may not even get to meet the OB that will deliver this baby. I don't like that at all.

Also, I'm going for a tour of the maternity center at the hospital next week, but reading their information online is disheartening as well. There is a delivery room, a recovery room, and then the room that you stay in until you go home. Also, it specifically says that after the delivery, the baby is taken to the nursery for bathing and then brought back to the mother when she's ready. I'm hoping I am able to make a change to this, as I don't want the baby taken from me, especially not immediately, as long as we're both okay. I'm working on fine tuning a birth plan, but I'm afraid that maybe they won't see the need to honor it, or won't be willing to be flexible. My SO knows what I want and will have a copy of the birth plan as will my mother. Both are prepared to battle for me if I need them to, but I'd rather not have to do that.

I've also decided that if I meet all of the OB's in the practice and dislike them all or they seem unwilling to work with my birth plan, I'll drive to my hometown about an hour away to deliver. My mom and SO know this and are supportive. I know most of the OB's that deliver there and spent my maternity/OB rotation at that hospital as well has being there to visit a few friends that had babies there. You are admitted to one room and that is the room you stay in. You labor, deliver, and recover there. They have it set up so there is a warmer in every room and all of the monitoring equipment that could be needed. You only leave that room if you need a c-section.

I guess my biggest concern is I really want to feel heard and empowered by the whole thing. Actually giving birth hasn't scared me at all - it's all the crap surrounding it. I don't want someone else to ruin it for me. I understand that things change and even though right now I don't want meds, I might then. But that will be MY choice. I don't want to have to change the way I want to do things because someone is simply unwilling to help me do them that way.

Any advice? Any experiences to share? I know it's really a wait and see sort of thing, but I could use some positive words of encouragement.

navywifey2003 April 18th, 2013 03:46 PM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
They work for you! You hired them for your care, I completely understand you. I don't even know the names of the people who delivered David or Katelynn. Where Everett was delivered by Sunshine and Brooke with a student midwife named Catherine. I would talk to them at your next appointment and be firm but also be kind. If they are unwilling I see no issue with you going back to where you were before. Yes this late in the game it sucks and of course the important out come is healthy mom/healthy baby but in healthy mom is someone who is happy and informed with her care.

mommy220 April 18th, 2013 04:05 PM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
Wow, that's crazy and they seem very old fashioned if they just take the baby. I am sure you could request differently. I think you should make sure though. When you tour, I bet many of your questions will be answered as to how flexible they are. I would just make sure you ask all of these things when you tour and go from there.

QueenCrafty April 18th, 2013 04:13 PM

My hospital is older and we have to switch rooms 2ish hours after delivery. The bigger fancier rooms are only for labor and delivery. So that's not necessarily a bad thing for your hospital. But, I would insist on them not taking the baby. Research has shown that if they take the baby so soon and bathe them, they have a much harder time regulating their temperature and could end up in the NICU. It is best to keep them skin to skin as long as possible and delaying the bath for at least 24 hours.

sunnydaze April 18th, 2013 04:26 PM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
I am actually delivering in a hospital that is 40 minutes away versus the one that is 15 minutes away because I was unwilling to put up with that crap. I hated the NPs...the docs were alright and everything i heard about the nurses in the maternity ward from everyone i know who delivered there was enough to convince me.

Not to mention the attached shower and bathrooms were so tiny, i can't imagine trying to "clean up" there and ever really feeling clean. The last hospital I gave birth in, was large enough for 2, so DH could actually come in and help me.

Being clean is very important to me...especially down there.

So I said F it....and changed practices/hospitals. Its going to suck driving there once a week near the end of my pregnancy, but it's worth it IMHO.

eshute April 18th, 2013 04:37 PM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
Thanks ladies! I have a list of questions started for my appointment next week, as well as the maternity tour. My appt is with the NP next week, so not sure if she can answer some of the questions I have or if I'll have to wait til I see one of the OB's. I'm glad I'm not making too big of a deal over all this stuff, it's just really important to me to have as much control of this crazy process as I can. Plus, this might be my only child so I'd like for it to be as close to what I want as possible.

MerinSun April 18th, 2013 07:19 PM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
This is just me, but I would totally skip this whole mess and drive the hour to the hospital/OB that I loved.

You're 33 weeks so you have 1 to 2 more 2 week apart visits and then 3-4 every week visits. Driving will be a total PITA but it's not too horrific. Try to schedule them for Friday evenings so you can go visit friends/family and have a night out :) If you feel nervous about being so far from the hospital then starting at 39.5 weeks go camp out with family or a friend. Again, a total PITA but it is only for a short little while.

MamaSkunk April 18th, 2013 08:58 PM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
And I should add that your a FTM....your labor will likely be on average 12 hours. You have plenty of time to drive the hour to the hospital you love. With DD I went to a hospital that was 35 minutes away...not as long but we definitely could have gone an hour drive away.

eshute April 19th, 2013 08:39 AM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
Thanks everyone for your support and advice!

bobbiejo1982 April 19th, 2013 08:40 AM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
I agree with the ladies about going to the one an hour away that you love. people around here do that. Just save the close hospital for emergenceies only.

overlinmommy17 April 20th, 2013 07:12 AM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)

Originally Posted by bobbiejo1982 (Post 27299270)
I agree with the ladies about going to the one an hour away that you love. people around here do that. Just save the close hospital for emergenceies only.

Totally agree. I would not put up with those things that you feel so strongly about .... being seperated after giving birth is terrible for mom and baby!

TeresaV April 20th, 2013 07:22 AM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
I agree with the consensus. Make the drive. Birthing a baby is not a time for compromise.

eshute April 20th, 2013 10:06 AM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
I've been seriously thinking about it and I really think that going to the hospital an hour away is going to be the best idea. I've only heard good things and I've seen it for myself more than once. I really think I'd feel more comfortable.

navywifey2003 April 20th, 2013 11:04 AM

Re: Nervous about hospital. (Very long, sorry)
You are making the right choice I think.

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