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-   -   help please (hormones) (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f2038-2013-playroom/2662273-help-please-hormones.html)

mommyandwife08 June 29th, 2013 03:53 AM

help please (hormones)
I am an emotional basket case! I am sad all the time and I pretty much cry at everything. I feel so guilty for having another kid...like some how I ruined our family. My boys are I have always been really close and I am terrified that I ruined my relationship with my them. My boys aren't acting unhappy at all..actually they love her but it still doesn't change the way I feel. Sometimes it just feels like I am drowning and I cant breath. I know in my head this is all hormones and it will pass but it sure doesn't make going through it any easier.

Mom2LillieAidan June 29th, 2013 04:02 AM

Re: help please (hormones)
Aw Hun, I'm sorry you're havinmg a rough time. Hugs girl

ashleykathleen June 29th, 2013 05:14 AM

Re: help please (hormones)
Totally normal feeling and it will pass. I have felt the exact same way after I had DS and this time too. All I can say is, after all my worrying about Jaleigh right after I had Kiefer, they are now best friends and J and I are as close as ever before.

TeresaMomTo2Boys June 29th, 2013 05:21 AM

Re: help please (hormones)
The more I think about it, the more I feel guilty only besides I have Trey here 24/7 and Aidan is only with me one month out of the summer, holidays and every other weekend. I feel like he thinks I chose Trey over him but I know he doesn't think.that and he'll love Trey to pieces. I haven't cried or got emotional...it's just the thoughts that haunt me

Kim3 June 29th, 2013 06:31 AM

Re: help please (hormones)
Hon - I hope this gets a little better for you each and every day. I felt the same when when i found out I was pregnant. I thought another baby would harm the family we have. (Ellianna is 3 weeks today and I cannot imagine life without her). If these feelings do not pass within a few day, please call your doctor. Our hormone levels get so out of whack after having a baby. Sometimes there is a need to get a prescription to get hormone levels back into the right levels. If you want me to pm you my cell number, I would be glad to. If you ever get really sad and need support we are here for you. A time will come (hopefully shortly) that you will find that your daughter is a lifetime gift to your sons.

navywifey2003 June 29th, 2013 07:26 AM

Re: help please (hormones)
Huge hugs Hun! I felt this way pretty close to my whole pregnancy. But now that she is here its so much better.

QueenCrafty June 29th, 2013 08:34 AM

Hugs!! I'm sorry you are dealing with these feelings. I agree with Kim that if they don't improve you should talk to your doctor.

sunnydaze June 29th, 2013 09:19 AM

Re: help please (hormones)
I feel bad for my 5 yr old because I've been having a hard recovery so we haven't been going outside or to the park or doing much. He is getting cabin fever and baby -holdmealldaylong- doesn['t make things easier.

But I will heal and it will pass and we will find our groove. I am sure you will too.

hilachu June 29th, 2013 10:09 AM

Re: help please (hormones)
I'm sorry you feel that way
I'm in the same boat as well
i was just crying to DH a few days ago, with Emerson being so fussy and crying, I feel like my son is being cheated out of "Mommy" time and that he has to deal with the stress of a crying baby
it gets better

edgeofelise June 29th, 2013 12:57 PM

Re: help please (hormones)
I had my first breakdown last night. My nipples are chapped and sore, I had to take the dressing off my incision and it's healing fine but still gross and sore, and I was majorly constipated. My body feels broken and DD is bored to death and I feel terribly guilty. I hope you (and all of the rest of us) feel better soon!

eshute June 29th, 2013 01:03 PM

Re: help please (hormones)
Being a first time mom, I can't relate to your exact situation, but I cried for the first two weeks straight. I feel guilty about having a child that we weren't ready for and I hate that we're broke and trying to raise a baby that didn't ask to be born. I still cry almost every day. I guess that regardless of the situation, the sadness and feelings of guilt are pretty common for everyone. You said yourself that the boys love the new baby and soon you'll get into a groove where (hopefully) you feel like everyone is getting the attention they need. I hope you feel better soon!

mommyandwife08 June 29th, 2013 05:19 PM

Re: help please (hormones)
Thanks everyone. I am glad to know I am not the only one who has dealt with these feelings. I have already made an appt. for monday. I am sure this will go away on its own but it would still be nice to talk to the doctor and make sure. I hope everyone else dealing with these crazy emotions start feeling better soon.

overlinmommy17 June 29th, 2013 05:28 PM

Re: help please (hormones)
Girl I have been the exact same way! Its awful....you are not alone!! I am beginning to feel a little better but its the hardest thing to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Please hang in there and I know that it will get better and we are all in this together. Hugs!!

4hearts June 29th, 2013 05:33 PM

Re: help please (hormones)
Hugs to you. I hope you feel better soon.

Gen88 June 29th, 2013 06:08 PM

Re: help please (hormones)
Hugs! I was there a couple weeks ago. It will pass and you'll return to normal ;) feel better soon Hun.

MrsLat June 29th, 2013 06:24 PM

Re: help please (hormones)
Sending hugs. I think we have all felt that way at some point. For me, it got much better after the baby was here... hang in there. You and your little boys are going to be fine. And before you know it, you won't be able to imagine life without this new little one :)

MerinSun June 29th, 2013 08:35 PM

Re: help please (hormones)
It's totally understandable! I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I've been having my own meltdowns because I feel incredibly incompetent. My house isn't tidy like I want it to be, my toddler is a wild child who is hitting us and screaming a lot, and I can't feed my baby through breastfeeding and the bottle is a struggle. I truly feel like a complete failure. My DH is adamant that I talk about this with my midwife when I go in to see her this week. I already talked to her about my concerns of experiencing post-partum anxiety again and she wanted to start me on medication during my pregnancy but I felt that therapy would be a better option for me.

I encourage you to talk about what you are feeling with your family and maybe a little bit with your boys. Don't go in too deep, just check in with them about how they feel about the baby and about you. I'm sure you'll be pleased with their answers.

If you continue to feel this way for a significant amount of time (like a couple days in a row) I would bring it up with your doctor. It feels nice to talk about it with people sometimes.

Eleanor-Abigail July 1st, 2013 08:28 AM

Re: help please (hormones)
Mommywife08, and all the other mommas having trouble:

{{HUGS}} to all of you. I was there too. As a first time mom and older mom, I was utterly overwhelmed by the daunting task of having this tiny - noisy! Hungry! Cranky! - person I had just met being totally dependent on me for its survival. Add breast feeding difficulties and a lack of sleep, and it's a perfect recipe for PPD.

You did the right thing coming here to express your feelings. I second therapy (either with a therapist or coffee w/ friend!) and medication if your OB or midwife feels it's warranted.

For any new moms having difficulty breast feeding, I highly, highly suggest finding your local La Leche League and calling one of their leaders. I learned through them that sore nipples are a sign of a poor latch, and that can be corrected. My local group has 2 meetings a month, a weekly play group, and a Facebook group for moms to connect. If that's not a resource in your area, find a lactation consultant or a midwife who can help you. Google La Leche League International and KellyMom for resources. Also post your questions on the breast feeding board here.

Try to get out of the house w/ your baby (obviously more difficult if you have a toddler), even if it's just to the park or Target. Call a friend to come over and hold/watch the baby - or fold the laundry / clean the bathroom! - while you sleep. Have someone (Dad, in-laws, church group, etc.), arrange to bring in a couple of meals per week. If you can afford it, get a cleaning service, even if it's just once a month. My mom & step-mother bought six months of cleaning service for me as a birthday present after my DD was born. It was freaking fantastic.

CONGRATULATIONS on your beautiful babies! You will be awesome super moms!

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