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-   -   Is this normal (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f2038-2013-playroom/2667740-normal.html)

bobbiejo1982 July 24th, 2013 04:09 PM

Is this normal
Jackson is 7 weeks old tomorrow over 7lbs now.

I read about how most your babies hang out in there swing or bouncy chair or play mat. And how the make noise and coo. Jackson is never content but maybe 15 -20 minutes a day on his own. He need constant attention and to be held constantly. I bottle feed him BM and while he is eating he falls asleep. I set him down and he wake up instantly and starts crying. I have to swaddle him and rock him to sleep at night to get him to bed.

I am starting to have a hard time and it's really wearing on me. My boyfriend helps but is pretty unsupportive and always says mean and hurtful things like "maybe we weren't meant to be parents:

I am so sad and frustrated. Need your help ladies.

All the stress is making me loos my milk supply too which is really disappointing.

QueenCrafty July 24th, 2013 04:25 PM

Sounds normal to me. Henry is 5 weeks and I hardly put him down. He just doesn't like being alone. It does not mean you are doing anything wrong. Babies are very needy at this age, but they will eventually gain some ability to be content elsewhere

overlinmommy17 July 24th, 2013 04:58 PM

Re: Is this normal
Completely normal! Madeline is the same way and it DOES wear you down. Try to stick in there. It will get better soon!! Take care of you. Eat drink and try to sleep. I know what you are going through.

eshute July 24th, 2013 05:14 PM

Re: Is this normal
First let me say that I'm sorry that your SO isn't being supportive. He needs to stop being negative and start being encouraging for both of you. Not having a supportive partner must make it 10 times harder.

It sounds like your little one is pretty normal. Anna will be 7 weeks old on friday and she's hardly making any sounds. She won't go to sleep without being fed, swaddled, and cuddled/patted/rocked. And she doesn't normally want to spend time awake not being held. She'll tolerate her bouncy seat for about 15 minutes and only if I'm bouncing it with my foot and even then sometimes she won't. I know it's really frustrating, but there will come a time when our babies are not so needy. Until then, I keep telling myself to enjoy the cuddles and the alone time with her because every mother I know tells me I'm going to miss it.

So hang in there, and maybe talk to your SO about his negativity. He needs to knock that crap off. It's not good for anyone, especially the baby.

TeresaV July 24th, 2013 05:21 PM

Re: Is this normal
Morgan is the same way. She won't tolerate her play mat for more than 10 minutes, tummy time for more than 5, or her swing for more than 15 unless she falls asleep in it. She won't fall asleep on her own. It's perfectly normal at this stage. What isn't normal is the lack of support from your SO. He needs a good smack in the head.

bobbiejo1982 July 24th, 2013 05:38 PM

Re: Is this normal
thanks ladies I really appreciate it just didn't know if this was normal or noton my phone now but I'll check back in when I'm able to

zkat July 24th, 2013 05:39 PM

Re: Is this normal
It is very normal. Have you talked to his Pedi about reflux and/or his formula upsettinghis stomach

Another thing to remember is that he is a Premie, so even though he was born 7 weeks ago, his adjusted age is 3 weeks. As he gets older, it wont be noticable but it makes a huge difference right now on his maturity. Most Pedi's will gauge his milestones by adjusted age.

Hang in there. It really does get better, I promise.

loveneverfails July 24th, 2013 06:28 PM

Re: Is this normal
Babies are 7 weeks old today and they are the same way. Very needy. It's exhausting. I can maybe get them to listen to music or lay on the play mat for 5 to 10 minutes a day. Other than that they are asleep( and rocked to sleep) or being held.

MerinSun July 24th, 2013 07:02 PM

Re: Is this normal
Alex, DS1, was this way for moooonths. What was very upsetting was that we bought a very nice swing and he hated it. But he would be soothed by my placing him in a basket and swinging him between my legs. Nuts! It was about this time I began to wear him. Made a huge difference. I could eat and read a book!

Does your SO pitch in enough, do you feel? He can wear the baby, too. Also, I know we advised you to shift your pump schedule to allow you to bottle feed your son, but do try to let SO do it so you can get a break. Also, fight for an hour to yourself a day, at least. Pumping is intense work. Caring for a newborn is also intense. You need space to refresh.

MamaSkunk July 24th, 2013 08:24 PM

Re: Is this normal
Completely normal. Tristan loves to be held constantly and does not like being left alone most of the time. He occasionally is OK with the swing or bouncer as long as I am close enough that he can see me. Babies like to be held at this age. They cry. Its hard. They were not meant to be easy.
Also your SO deserves a kick in the behind for being such an unsupportive jerk! Babies are tough but it does get easier. And he is a preemie so even though he is 7 weeks its technically like he is younger. And sometimes it does take preemies longer to hit milestones and start doing things. 2 of my little brothers were preemies and one was a micropreemie born at 27 weeks and while he is completely normal and had no developmental problems he did do a lot of things slower than other babies the same age. He said his first word at almost 2. He was 4 when he finally potty trained etc. So he did eventually catch up but he was just a bit slow at first. He was a completely tough kid though and we noticed as he got older that when he finally did fuss or cry about something he was in ALOT of pain(preemies tend to have a higher pain tolerance) so it could be that Jacksons reflux is not just a normal case of reflux it could be worse making him fussier and wanting to be comforted by you more.
Hang in there it will get easier.

beatlechicksteph July 24th, 2013 09:07 PM

Re: Is this normal
Totally normal. Arthur is 9 weeks today and he's just now letting me put him down in his bouncy seat and on the playmat for extended amounts of time. I was able to cook and eat supper tonight with him on the playmat and in the bouncy seat. Which was weird for me, usually I have to wear him while I eat, or DH and I eat in shifts.

You need to talk to your SO about helping out more. I think I would go insane if DH didn't help out. Arthur SCREAMS for about an hour at night, and if DH didn't take him away from me and give me a break, I would go insane. You need to be able to hand him off and get a breather, especially if you have a baby that wants to be held all the time. DH has his own Moby Wrap and we take turns wearing him on fussy days.

Kim3 July 25th, 2013 04:15 AM

Re: Is this normal
When Elli is not in my arms it is because DH or my Mom is holding her :p

sunnydaze July 25th, 2013 05:34 AM

Re: Is this normal
My first two boys enjoyed the swing and whatnot.

Lilah is a whole new ball game. Everything you described.

I've spent hundreds of dollars on a fancy hoity toity swing in hopes she would be content in it. I just returned it yesterday. She hates the bouncy chair, the play mat and when I put her on tummy time, she rolls onto her side and screams.

It got SO BAD yesterday, I was in tears and walked her crying butt down to my moms house (she lives 7 doors down) and handed her over while I went upstairs and took a nap in her bed.

I was coming undone.

So I called my doc and they called me in a prescription for Zoloft. I am really hoping this will help me deal with it all.

By the way...my housework is totally neglected. The house is SO cluttered.

F it.

As for your man....he is being a tool. Tell him to pull the tampon out and man the F up. It will pass, but in the meantime you need a partner, not someone else you need to support.

MerinSun July 25th, 2013 09:19 AM

Re: Is this normal

It got SO BAD yesterday, I was in tears and walked her crying butt down to my moms house (she lives 7 doors down) and handed her over while I went upstairs and took a nap in her bed.
I envy you! My Mom came and took my toddler to her house last night. This has been the first time that it's just been DH, me, and Rory since the hospital. I'm trying to enjoy it and trying to resist wanting to do housework. I've decided to limit this desire to just wiping the fridge out (it's been over 6 months, yuck) and wiping down the bathroom. Nothing else.

8miraclez July 25th, 2013 03:50 PM

Re: Is this normal
After 8 kids, I can tell you it's normal. I had a doctor tell me once, that there are really 4 trimesters. The first 12 weeks after a baby is born, are grueling. You then have to adjust that for prematurity too. My first baby, I was going to be the perfect mom and have her sleep in her own bed and eat on a schedule and she would love her swing. Ha ha ha. She ended up sleeping in my bed until she was 3, she ate constantly and I had to buy a carrier because I could never put her down. More than once I took her for car rides and let her sleep in her carseat with a wet diaper because I was desperate to just sleep.
It does get easier, I promise. I don't worry so much about what didn't work and spend a lot of time just sitting and holding Jocelyn. My dh, who used to get upset about his sleep, has learned to give me a break. Just find what works. Just remember, you aren't a bad mom for doing something you said you wouldn't, and this too shall pass.

bobbiejo1982 July 25th, 2013 07:27 PM

Re: Is this normal
Thank you all I appreciate the support so much. My So does help a ton. With cooking housework and with the baby. He does sometimes feed him while I pump. He's not all bad he is a huge help. it's just when Jackson cries and cries and can't be consoled is when he gets frustrated easily and very grumpy towards us. i try to talk to him but nothing changes.

I am glad that this is normal but us being first time parents always think something is wrong because our little guy is never content and is always crying. Not sure if it is the reflux colic or just nothing. We get by and do what we can, some days are very trying. Sometimes he even crys a lot when I am holding him.

I have a carrier but it's to big for him. One of you dear ladies offered to send me a moby wrap they were not using, I can't wait to try it! Thanks again Katrisha!!

You ladies are so so wonderful!! I don't get on here a lot but try to read up on the posts on my phone. And even thou I can't participate as much you guys are always here to help!!

On another note my supply is getting less and Jackson is eating more than I can pump. I have sadly started unthawing my freezer stash. We add preemie formula to his BM sometimes and I occasionally have to supplement. I have 5 more weeks until I return to work and I sadly think I will be done pumping by then. It's time consuming and I work full time. Until then I am going to do what I can and be happy I was able to give him BM this long, for someone that never thought they would breastfeed/pump.

I really appreciate you all. Sometimes I think you guys are the only ones to keep me sane LOL

MamaSkunk July 25th, 2013 09:40 PM

Re: Is this normal
Stress can affect supply so try not to stress. Make sure you are eating enough and drinking plenty of water. Also try fenugreek and eat oatmeal and then your supply may go back up. Hugs hun. Hang in there! Babies don't come with instructions. All new parents have a learning curve and even us BTDT moms don't always know what to expect from one baby to the next. They are all different.

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