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TeamMom2008 December 5th, 2013 09:20 PM

I have to say this.
Besides this group, I am hearing of so many people due with babies around my due date. My friend is one month after me, and now tonight both a cousin and my mom's friend announced they are having grandkids around the month of my due date. DH's cousin who lost the baby this year is now due in April just before me.

I would love to share the limelight with them, but I'm not sure I could handle losing this pregnancy with so many people having babies when I should be too.

I have to just put this out there. I accept that the miscarriage wasn't my fault, and I know that I was given that experience and that child for a reason. It is so hard to see the babies who were born on the weekend I miscarried (two in my life specifically) because I feel like I mark time with their age. It was tough knowing that my cousin was in labor and a friend was in labor the weekend I lost mine. Ad I see their chubby little faces on Facebook and it stings a lot.

I know that I am strong. I know that I would get through anything and I know that this child is just as loved and welcomed as the last two pregnancies. But really, if anything happened, I have half a dozen reminders of who wouldn't be here with me and that makes me so sad.

So, I am trusting God and the power of purpose. If my purpose is do that all over again with even more reminders, fine. But I'm really hoping that everything goes well and this child has cousins with the same birthdate. I don't have any indicators that something is wrong, and judging from my emotional roller coaster and crazy pregnancy brain today, I feel like things are right on track. But I really appreciate that you guys are here no matter what path I'm on.

alliebeecher December 5th, 2013 09:49 PM

Re: I have to say this.
Sending you hugs!!! You're right, you are strong and I'll be hoping that everything works out for the best.

mrsdaiwa24 December 6th, 2013 03:16 AM

Re: I have to say this.

I think what you're feeling is completely normal. My fiance' died 8 days after my niece was born. She is a beautiful but constant reminder of how much time has passed. It isn't quite the same as what you're feeling, but it's a similar pain we share.

I'm sorry that you are feeling this pain. I hope that everything goes well for you and your little bean during this pregnancy.

bluewren December 6th, 2013 04:53 AM

Re: I have to say this.
*hugs* I wish you the best and a h&h 9 months.

Johnsgirlsx3 December 6th, 2013 06:33 AM

Re: I have to say this.
hugs(()) It's hard. I know! I still haven't told any one because I miscarried at 10 weeks 2 days.

It gets easier. Promise!

hugs(()) It's hard. I know! I still haven't told any one because I miscarried at 10 weeks 2 days.

It gets easier. Promise!

hugs(()) It's hard. I know! I still haven't told any one because I miscarried at 10 weeks 2 days.

It gets easier. Promise!

Wish44 December 6th, 2013 06:42 AM

Re: I have to say this.
Big hug! Your fears are completely normal. We all have them, and with your past it makes sense. But, like you said, so far everything is normal. The end of the first trimester is in sight for you. We're all here to lean on each other.

moxiemommie December 6th, 2013 08:37 AM

Re: I have to say this.
*hugs* Yes thats is completly normal. There have been tragedies and happy times that mark those tragedies for me as well. There is one time a year that just maims me, every year, and I just cant get the date out of my head, becauseof course there is are a few bdays within that time frame. Lots of prayers foryou and a happy healthy baby and 9 months :) *morehuggles*

TeamMom2008 December 6th, 2013 09:17 AM

Re: I have to say this.
Thanks so much. I needed to put it out there. I woke up today and feel a lot better physically and mentally.

AtomicMama December 6th, 2013 11:07 AM

Re: I have to say this.
I'm so sorry that you are struggling. I am so hoping that this is a happy, healthy pregnancy for you, with a sweet, healthy baby in June :)

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