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May 11th, 2010, 10:41 PM
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LJD3Tdance LJD3Tdance is offline
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Location: Eagle, Idaho
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It wasn't my water leaking, I always starting getting an insane amount of discharge at the end, and so that's all it was, was just a crazy lot of discharge.

A surprise baby shower, awww! That's the best.

I've never been given a surprise party either, that is really neat! But you deserve it if you're the kind to throw one!

You go mommy, nest like only a pregnant lady can, lol. I wish I was doing anything like that, I'm so not though.

I posted in the DDC about my hospital visit, I posted to you first in here that I was thinking about it and then asked in the DDC what everyone thought, I felt like the reaction was overreaction cuz I kinda knew it'd be nothing, but I went and got it checked just cuz it is better safe than sorry. A friend on facebook actually convinced me to go, not the DDC.

I truly can't imagine enjoying a c-section. I'd be so distraught at just the idea of having it. I loved my births so much, even Rock's which wasn't all that pleasant, but I'd feel so at a loss if I lost that chance with Amber. I truly don't want to sound like one of those ladies who freaks out and acts like people who've had c-sections are failures, that is not at all how I feel, but I feel like I'd have been failed by like the cosmic universe if I had to have one. I don't think there'd be anything I'd be really blaming, cuz I know God has a reason for everything, and it isn't like it would be Amber's fault, or even me blaming my body, but I'd just feel so let down if I didn't get to give birth to her the way I did the other 3. I felt like who cares who your doctor is with those births, I'd care a lot about the doctor, cuz it'd be really their job with a c-section.

I remember the pain after my appendectomy was too awful. It was worse than giving birth, and I've never had anything after a surgery for pain that didn't either cause me to puke or break out in some sort of rash, so I'd worry that I'd also have to manage without pain killers and Idk if I could...I don't want to get stressed about it, cuz I just want to avoid that unless it is medically needed for Amber!

I also get charged by the day I stay in the hospital if I have a c-section Idk how we'd ever pay for that. I think the average stay is like 3 days then and I've already been horrified to realize, supposing all goes well we need to be out the day after I give birth to Amber, cuz I'm paid for that, but for the extra $300 a day I'd be so screwed.

Does it always take longer to heal after a 2nd c-section? I ask this one for my friend actually because she's trying to decide if she should go vbac or c-section right now.

I'd die also if they didn't give me Amber right away. It already kills me that my hospital has a stupid policy that about an hour after the birth they're going to take her for an hour or two. I actually switched hospitals twice to try to find one that didn't have a policy about this that I hated...I have now found one that doesn't have this policy and I'm even considering switching AGAIN. Things are kinda up in the air atm. I remember when I agreed to let them take Courtney somewhere for a little bit I missed her terribly instantly. I get so attached. I'm not attached to pregnancy, but to that little infant...

I also would just die if her first meal had to be formula. Not because I think there is something wrong with formula, but because I want that first to be mine to have. I feel like after 9 months I've earned some firsts, dh'll get his share of stuff, especially at this point since he's the SAHD! LJ's trying to learn to walk right now, he took a step and stood there for a while afterwords today, but was I here? No, Nick was though. So, I deserve to get some firsts with Amber in! Nick held LJ first, too...*boo*

I always don't have my camera at my important stuff lately.

Anyway, can you believe 35 weeks is almost here? Just a couple hours left for me before I hit my 35 week mark. I know lots of ladies who've had 35 weekers who never went to NICU or anything, just came home like all was well, so I'm excited to be at this point where baby is probably going to be healthy whenever she decides to come!
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