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June 10th, 2010, 04:37 AM
mum74 mum74 is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,389
So I've been cranky all day (so the mini-pill affect your mood?? I started taking it 3 days ago)...

then tonight I decided to clear out my hotmail account. Between Facebook and our home email account I really don't check my hotmail account at all. So I'd nearly deleted everything when I discovered an email from a friend - from 3 months previously....and my cranky day got infinitely worse!

It was written the day I'd taken the boys to visit her when I was about 8 months pregnant. She wanted to let me know that I had redirected her daughter when she was talking to her and she didn't appreciate it...ouch!!!

I actually can't remember back to what I might have said but I'm mortified to think that I would have corrected her parenting style. I know I read a lot and if someone asks me something I guess I 'think' I am helping by saying 'well I read this or I read that' etc, but I think I need to realise that mostly spouting off about something I've read is not welcome.

I'm not really sure what I said or did for the most part (she gave me one example), all I know is I feel really cr*appy now!! She is a bit of a spiritual person (like some of her facebook status updates don't even make sense to me sometimes!!).... the one thing she did say was that Grace pretended she had a puppy in her shirt and she was saying something to Grace about it and then I said something about her just having a good imagination and she didn't appreciate that because she has been around artists who live in a fantasy world where they aren't in touch with reality and that Grace needs to learn the difference (ie. it's okay if she says there's dragons in the trees, but not that there's a puppy in her shirt - okay I admit I'm slightly confused but anyway..). She herself is an artist who I actually did think had started to lose a bit of touch with reality herself so it was interesting to get that perspective on what she teaches Grace about imagination etc.

Anyway i shouldn't try to justify myself. I emailed back and said thanks for the feedback - it's good to learn something about myself (even if it was hard to hear) - and obviously while I 'think' I am trying to help if I've read something relevant to what she's talking about, I have to remember it's probably not appreciated.

Sorry I know I'm just rambling. I just feel really sh*tty. I AM glad to know it, but I guess I have thin skin and it did hurt to read it.

ETA: I guess perhaps it means I need to be more honest in my relationship with her too. A while ago she went on about epidurals and the effect of the drugs on the baby and c-sections and why they were so bad for the baby etc. Now she knows that (at that point) I had had two c-sections and therefore epidurals and the way she said it I guess I did feel angry/hurt, like once again I have to feel bad about my choices.

She got pregnant from a one night stand and I know this is petty because she wasn't planning to get pregnant, but she was smoking pot and drinking the night she conceived, and continued to smoke pot and drink until she knew she was pregnant, and I guess I was angry from her comments and so I pettily thought well if the drugs I put into my body at full term when I had my baby were so bad, then surely so were the drugs/alcohol bad for her baby at the time of conception. I didn't say it of course.

Sigh... perhaps this is a (long) friendship that has run it's course and best for the both of us if we amicably part ways.
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Last edited by mum74; June 10th, 2010 at 04:45 AM.
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