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June 23rd, 2010, 02:37 AM
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Soleil Soleil is offline
Happy & Blessed
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Sunny South Florida
Posts: 1,470
Soleil's story...

Angel #1 - Was in my belly for almost 10 weeks. In my heart forever. We found out we were expecting only 4 months after we got married. We were thrilled & elated. Miscarriage was never a thought or option for us. We bought maternity clothes for me and people gave us unisex onesies for the baby. I spent the sumemr months esctatic about becoming a mother.

School began around Aug 8th that year. It was teacher work week. I remember waking up on the 3rd or so day of that work week and saw some blood. Naturally I panicked, but went into work anyway. The blood flow increased and became heavy so I called my OB and they told me that everything was likely fine, but to come in.

I can remember as clear as if it were yesterday what I was wearing that day. A blue summery sweater and a black skirt. I ran home and waited for husband to come home quickly from work. We drove in silence together to the OB.

When we were seen we were taken quickly for an ultrasound. I remember all to well laying there on the table... so very vulnerable, tears streaking down my face, legs in stirrups. Hubby was at the foot of the table, feeling helpless. All he could do was franticly rub my feet and ankles. We heard the technician say "I have to go get the doctor." We knew what that meant. My tears increased more rapidly.

I have blocked out what happened next, but I do remember getting dressed and scheduling my D&C for the next morning. That night was awful, I think I ate nothing and slept through most of it.

The next morning we went to the office and waited for our turn to be called for the D&C. It was very difficult being in a room with happy pregnant ladies. It wasn't their fault, I told myself. But it still hurt.

When my name was called I walked to the door with my husband's hand in mine.

"Oh... he can't come back here..." the nurse said.

That was the first time I saw my husband tear up. We hugged tightly and I walked back and had my first D&C.

Angel #2 - I got pregnant immediatly after the D&C. I did not even have a regular period after the D&C. In my heart I knew the pregnancy wasn't viable. I told very few people this time around. We went for an ultrasound and the technician saw nothing inside me.

We had a D&C the very next day as well. I remember vividly from this one vomiting after the D&C as my husband walked me to our car to take me home.

Lots of tears and pain. Thank you for letting me share our story.
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