Testing the Waters...
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June 19th, 2006, 07:53 PM
Join Date: Nov 2005
I know what you mean about feeling out of place. I really don't belong many other places on JM. The p/g loss board is the only place where I have felt at home, even though sometimes I have felt out of place there since I have one healthy child and so many there haven't been able to have children yet. I have tried visiting the TTC after a Loss, but it just isn't the same. Sometimes it seems silly over there. All they worry about is if someone has an evap line on the HPT or if the opk is reading a positive (I don't mean to offend anyone over there!!), but I know that even if I O and end up with a postiive HPT that I haven't even begun the battle yet. I know that after my first m/c, I could have gotten into that and into a DDC, but now even if I see a baby on the u/s (which I haven't the last 2 p/gs), that I haven't won the battle yet because there are still so MANY things that could go wrong. I think that with multiple losses you kind of lose that hopeful feeling and it becomes much harder to ease yourself through the worries.
I think that it would be okay to discuss TTC to some degree. If it is about tests and TTC anxieties that others have difficulty relating to, then I think it is a good idea. I don't think that it should go as far as discussing charts and opks and the like because I think that is more suited for the TTC boards.
I don't know about talking about a p/g on this board. I have a hard time sometimes when someone posts on the p/g loss board about getting a BFP. Not that I'm not happy for them, but I'm not sure that even an announcement belongs on the board because it is almost like rubbing it in your face that they are p/g and you aren't (even though I KNOW that that isn't the intent). Maybe I am being to harsh. Maybe I would change my tune if I were to become p/g again, or if I wasn't just a couple of months past my second loss. I do realize that there is a need for some p/g talk here because you feel like an outsider when no one understands what you have been through, but I don't want this to turn to a p/g after loss board either. I think that a subforum would be okay, though because then you could decide whether to expose yourself to the topic or not.
You aren't crazy and I think that it is a good idea to set boundaries at the beginning so that no one becomes hurt or is offended by what others want to talk about. We have to remember that even though all of us have been through a m/c more than once, we are still at different stages of dealing with those miscarriages and we will still have new members join us that are dealing with the grief over a new loss.
10/31/05 (EDD 5/15/06), 4/17/06 (EDD 11/13/06)
Chemical p/g 1/11/08
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