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Even if you don't hope for a pain med free VBAC, I would sooooo highly recommend Bradley classes for you guys. the foundation of Bradley is that the coach (usually the husband/father) knows exactly what to expect when the mom is in labor, what positions to get her into to speed things up, what signs to watch for to avoid a c-section, etc. If nothing else, read the books!
I bet that would be really hard to bring up. I am pretty blunt with Sam and just flat out tell him how I feel (I have a lot of resentment toward him from our first week home) and I don't really care how he feels at the moment, because what I'm upset about he didn't care about me at that moment.
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