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  #42  
August 29th, 2010, 07:41 PM
spfiff spfiff is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRISTE View Post
I am so sorry Rljohnson8. I too lost my little one on July 3rd. It was just last week, so the wound in my heart is still so fresh. I first visited this site about 6 weeks ago. I found it while searching for info on SCH. I had never heard of it. I started bleeding at about 11 weeks. It was only spotting but I freaked out as I don't normally bleed during pregnancy. I went to an emergency Gynae dept. They scanned me and told me I had a blood clot under the placenta and thats the cause of the bleed and that I would bleed for a while until the clot cleared. The bleeding was light, no pain. It cleared after 2 weeks and then started again. By this time I had gone for my proper scan. The clot was still there but my baby was fine and I saw baby for the first time! The bleeding started again, slight brownish blood. I read entries on this site and most moms were quite positive and so I did not worry too much!
However last week on Wednesday I started bleeding at night, bright fresh blood with clots and slight discomfort. I was scared. My hubby took me to hospital. I had a check up, they picked up baby's heartbeat and then the Gyn/Ob did a scan and reassured me that my baby was fine. We went home. I spent Thursday resting and no bleeding all day. However at night I felt unsettled. I woke up around 3am in pain and I was bleeding quite heavily and I passed some really large clots which I bagged to show at the hospital. We went back to the hospital at about 8am. I was checked out, the doctor told me my cervix was closed and it didnt look like I had miscarried. She requested a scan. At about 11am I had a scan, I saw my little one alive, waving little arms and feet about. I was filled with joy. The doctor advised me to go home, rest and just monitor the bleeding. I went home but I felt tired and a little feverish. I went to bed early on Friday night. I was woken up around midnight by pain in my lower abdomen. It was really bad, like really painful period pains. It got worse and worse. I eventually took some ibuprofen - it didnt help. After about 2 hours of excruciating pain, I felt like i needed the bathroom. I went in, had a bowel action - then I felt some warm liquid followed by something solid. I didnt want to think the worst. Surely it couldnt be my baby - I had seen baby just a few hours earlier on the scan. I screamed and my husband came in. i told him but said to him I was scared to look. He looked in the toilet, there was nothing but blood. He then wore some gloves and felt around. Next thing I heard was a hertbreaking moan from him. I was hysterical, asked him if it was the baby. My hubby looked really pained and advised me not to look! Anyway I was taken to hospital at about 3am on Sat 3 July, I was in shock and spent the rest of the day crying. I had a fever, no appetite! The next day I asked if I could see my baby. I don't know how I did it, I had earlier refused-I didnt think I had the strength. But I know now it was therapeutic. It was tiny, but perfectly formed, weirdly beautiful. So why, why couldn't my baby stay in my belly until it was full term? I have lost count of the number of time people have said, "maybe it wasnt meant to be"; or "its just one of those things" .

I am sorry for rambling, but I am still in so much pain. I can't believe my little angel gone. I have other kids, this was meant to be our last. I know I have to be strong for my other kids, but its so hard. To everyone who is pregnant and has a SCH, I wish you all the best. I really wouldnt want any of you wonderful mommies to go thru what I am going thru. I suppose it is good news that only a minority of SCH pregnancies will end in miscarriage.
Your story made me cry because I had two miscarriages and had a similar situation happen to me. My heart goes out to you and at some point you will feel better but it takes a long time. I suffered two miscarriages back to back before I had my son and I felt like my world was coming to an end. It is like a knife went through your heart and no one is there to help remove it!
I am pregnant again now almost 8 wks and I just had bleeding yesterday. I thought for sure I was having a miscarriage (which I may still be having one) but this site has given me hope. I will be calling the dr. tomorrow (Monday) so I can get an us and find out what is going on. I don't know how I will handle a third miscarriage but I thank God for my 13 month old son- my angel.
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