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August 31st, 2010, 08:42 AM
wishfulgal wishfulgal is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,699
Sorry this is going to be kind of a long rambly post...just a bunch of my thoughts put together. I hope nothing I say will offend anyone.

So, several of our friends and family members know that we are dealing with severe male infertility and are considering adoption. I don't know if it is just b/c we do have a biological son who who we conceived naturally already and he's not *that* old (19 months), but I feel like a lot of people think we are "over-reacting" when we talk about adopting...like it's this crazy last resort and we are just jumping the gun and should keep trying....surely I'll get pregnant again eventually. I also hear, "What if you adopt and then you get pregnant?" Ummm....that would be great! It's not like we would think, "Oh, shoot..if we'd known this was going to happen, we never would have adopted." We would be thrilled to have 3 kids or more, regardless of how they come to us.

DH is having a varicocele repair done soon that may possibly improve his sperm count, and people basically have said, "Oh, hopefully it will help and then you won't have to adopt". As we've been considering adopting, I think of alot of the couples I know with adopted children and I can remember always hearing, "They could never get pregnant, so they had to adopt." HAD to? Nobody has to do anything.

I would be lying if I said we would be considering adoption right now if our infertility journey hadn't brought us to this point. DH and I had always talked about adopting someday but we were thinking of later after we had several biological children and were a little more financially well off . As it is, we can afford to adopt but it will make things "tight" financially. But that doesn't mean that adoption is a last resort, or that having another biological child is preferable. It just means that our life's journey has taken some unexpected twists and turns and we have arrived at an unexpected, but not unwelcome, destination. We will love our adopted child as unconditionally as we love our biological son. It won't matter how they came to us.

I guess I'm just kind of frustrated with people's perception of adoption as almost this negative thing, like "Poor, poor them. They have to adopt". It bothers me.
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