So torn, how do you know?
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August 31st, 2010, 03:06 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
I lurk here every now and then, trying to make up my mind on what to do. I'm hoping someone may be able to help me out here.
I remember when I was pregnant with my son that I was completely miserable and I swore I would never want to do it again. I even told DH to record me saying that so he could play it back to me when I got the crazy idea that I wanted a 4th. My Dh is DONE. He does NOT want any more. He keeps asking me for the final approval to get the big "V", but I just can't do it for some reason. He had surgery on his finger earlier this year, so we've already met our deductible on him for 2010. If we're going to do it, we need to get it done in the next few months because our insurance is horrible. But I just can't say "okay."
I don't know why I want another. I even tried writing a list of why we should and why we shouldn't have another and I couldn't come up with any great reasons why we should, but there was a whole list of why we shouldn't, not the least of which are for financial reasons, needing a bigger house, my patience is already stretched with the three we have. Has anyone else ever felt this way? How did you finally come to the decision to be done? I think a lot of my problem is more giving up this stage of my life than necessarily wanting another child.
There are times, like today when we were walking out of the zoo and heard this Hawaiian music playing. It made me really want to take the kids to Hawaii, but I know we need to wait until they're older and if we have another one, that would just postpone it more - not to mention adding the cost of one more. At that time I had this moment of clarity and I almost turned to my husband and said go ahead and make the appointment, I'm done. I've had many other moments like this too. But I just can't bring myself to say it.
I look at newborns and part of me misses they way they snuggle up on your chest and all the cute faces they make, their milestones, etc. But then the other part of me really doesn't want to go through that stage of no sleeping, constant feeding, etc. again.
I could go on and on, but I think I'll stop now, lol. I would appreciate any experiences, advice, words of wisdom, whatever I can get to help me decide what to do.
Last edited by mommy2mygirls; August 31st, 2010 at
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