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June 26th, 2006, 07:46 AM
Nykoal Nykoal is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 18,680
Yeah! I'm so glad this board is up and running!

DH & I just got back on Saturday from a resort in Cuba (I love being Canadian when it comes to cheap vacations!). The resort was filled with French Canadians and British tourists, but there was a small group of us from Ontario. Despite the mosquitos (aka...the "unofficial" animal of Ontario) and the bland food, we had a great time. We spent our mornings on the beach (complete with white powder sand and crystal clear turquoise water), and our afternoons at the pool. I love all-inclusive resorts!

My original due date was June 24th and I told DH I didn't want to be around for it so we booked a last minute holiday and hopped a plane and escaped for a week. Now I'm back to reality though and it's starting to hit me that not only did my due date come and go but I've also lost a 2nd baby a month before my due date.

It was nice to forget our worries and to be honest...I hate to admit this but last week I never once thought about my 2 losses or any other worries for that matter. I promised myself to try to have fun because everything will still be here when I get back. On one hand I feel bad for having a good time and on the other hand I really needed the mental break.

Everything is just starting to sink in now. I'm scared. Scared to attempt to TTC again; scared that I will lose another baby; scared to make any plans for the future; scared to think that we'll never have any kids. Why does this have to happen and to people that want a baby so badly. I hate how life can seem so unfair and I never seem to find out any answers.

I have a doctors appointment on Wed. afternoon but I doubt I'll find out what caused the m/c in the first place. I'm waiting for my 1st AF arrive since my m/c and the waiting is driving me nuts. I know it can take anywhere from 4-8 weeks and it's only been a month but I hate waiting.
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