Testing the Waters...
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June 26th, 2006, 09:54 AM
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
I think this forum is special and unique. We all know first hand the pain associated with loss and after multiple losses it's completely different from 1 loss. With that being said...I'm already seeing a bond take place and I've only been posting here since today.
I too felt out of place in other boards.
* I don't fit in with the TTC 1st Child because I've been trying to TTC #1 for almost 6 years and I don't want to scare anybody.
* I didn't feel like I fit in with the Pg After Loss because once I found out my 2nd pg was implanted correctly I figured I was out of the woods and felt free to enjoy my pg and didn't really have any of the fears.
* Joining a DDC is scary because my fears are so different than those who have never experienced a loss or had just one.
Where am I going with this? Even though I just went through my 2nd loss a month ago, I'm okay with talking about TTC and PG if it's within context of the board (i.e. expressing fears, encouraging each other, etc, but not dealing with OPK's, charting, etc).
To be honest...I don't think the women here are the type to gloat and flaunt their pg if they are blessed with the chance again, so I'm hoping we won't have to deal with that.
It's so true what Sharon said, we are more wise now and have weathered our share of battles, and that alone brings an understanding and respect that we share with each other. We're not naive anymore and can't ever get that back. The fact that we got pg again after a loss shows us that we are set and determined to have a child and I think that TTC and PG is apart of the healing journey. It's just that we all reach that a different points in this process but we're sensitive to others.
I'm already seeing the tone of this board and it seems to be about moving on and determination, whereas the Pg Loss board is more about making it through the first loss or dealing with the questions associated with a loss. It seems to be a stopping area and once they are feeling better they move on to other forums, or people post there to ask a question but don't really invest of themselves.
I was one of those who used the Pg Loss board after my 1st loss and then moved on. I thought it was a 1 time thing but now my losses have been woven into the fabric of my life and it's starting to define my outlook on life. I also felt leary about posting my thoughts and feelings because I didn't feel a connection with anybody, and so I used it more so as a place to vent and that's it. Even after my 2nd loss I didn't really post a lot there because my thoughts and fears were different.
I also think subforums are okay if that's what people want. If we're going to do that perhaps we could have one for those for us who don't have any children since that alone brings a whole other dimension to this journey. We never know if our bodies know what to do while pg, and each loss is a crushing blow and a constant reminder of what we can't have yet.
I'm fine with whatever the forum decides and can honestly say I already feel more at home here in 1 day than I have on any other forum since I started coming to JM. I truly appreciate the open and honest discussions that I've seen and been apart of, and look forward to getting to know everybody a bit more.
As an aside note: This forum is also special in that most of us know each other from other forums so it's like we can pick up where we were never able to venture before.
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