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June 28th, 2006, 05:09 PM
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beck12 beck12 is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Well - I would WANT to tell them all to go &*^*&^&((**&^!!!!....but.....this is what I would PROBABLY do...

I would say, I appreciate that every person/family has it's challenges & I understand that som epeople may choose not to attend wihtout their children, but we didn't choose all hte details of this party lightly & it is something we discussed & it is the decision we made for many reasons. I would even call your mom back & ask what she has said at this point to your cousin & your sister. If she hasn't said anything to them about it being okay - I would tell her not to. I would then call them both (or email - depending on the relationship)..telling them basically what I wrote above - you want them there, you are sorry it is inconvenient for them to get sitters, you understand if they cannot attend, but that this is the way you want to celebrate your wedding & although you knew it may be a bit harder for some, it is truly the way you envisioned your party & was not intended to exclude anyone, but rather to allow for you to invite as many people as possible that have been such a great support to you both & to have them with you at such an important event. As important as hte children are, they seldom have any memory of these events & would be just as happy to see you there as htey would at any other time.

For the aunt - I would email back thanking her for her worry over the state of things with N's family. Tell her that you can hear in her email that her heart is in the right place & that she is speaking from her own understanding of the situation. Assure her that you & N are not taking anything lightly & that whatever happens with his family, will be handled within the family & in it's time. That although weddings may be a "good time" for the "photo op" reunion....the party is a party for you 2 & it isn't a venue to hash out family problems or to push a reunion that no one is ready for. Things will heal (or they won't...but don't say that ) in their own time. I would also say that although you appreciate that she felt it was ac good idea to invite Gram, that you have gone over your guest list extensively based on budget & space & that you have sent out invites to all the people you have the availability to invite. Say it would be wonderful if you could afford to invite the world, but unfortunately space constraints & budgetary concerns have limited you to a specific number of guests.

If anyone else has any comments htey want t make - I think you should tell them time is money & money talks...so as soon as they pull out a check book - your all ears. I LITERALLY said that so much when I was planning my wedding, people finally shut up. Can you believe I had to listen to grief repeatedly before my wedding over stupid details - like we weren't having cake....and decided on Czech pastries instead. Cake??? People just like to complain & seem to forget it's a party they are being INVITED to....if they don't like it - they should stay home. IMHO

Do what want girl - you can't make everyone happy - no matter how hard you try & if you do try to do that, you loose your own happiness in the mix.
__________________
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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