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September 30th, 2010, 10:28 AM
EverEnduring84 EverEnduring84 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 46
I am pretty sure I am done having children. I had my DS Aug 2007 at 23.


A little background about me.. My husband and I have known one another since 16. We were got married Aug 2006 and then baby came Aug 2007. So pretty quick. We are currently both 26 and VERY busy with full time school and work. We both have 3 more years till we finish out BA/BS and then I plan on doing a credential program + we both plan on a maters. This would roughly put us at 30 by the time we could even "think" about financially having more children. This is even without a house and student loans (80,000 $ worth) to pay back.

It just doesn't seem like there will ever be a way for us to have more + our son (3 years old) had language development issues and speaks on the level of a 1 year old. It VERY frustrating and difficult..I personally always feel worn out because I STILL feel like I have a baby in so many ways. My son is not mature and neither is my husband. I love them both and I think were doing all we can right now considering our circumstances...although it will take many years for us to improve our financial/family situation.

I dont feel "done" because of just the current circumstances but I will always have to work full time to help support the family ive already started. I am just not one of those mom's that can have 3-4 kids and work full time. + im going into a career with children..so it's burn out, you know?

3 years ago my mom said to me that "it wont always be this way"...but it's been 3 years and nothing has changed. Of course we've grown in many ways but out circumstances are still the same..work/school/our little boy/ the unity to strive for a healthy marriage too (of course). We always try to balance what we have and where we are at in life..but we've still always been at our max..no let up..if that makes sense. "the gas peddle has always been on full force." + I have a child with a possible disability (deaf or language delay..we are still getting him through the assessment process through the school district).

I've always been overwhelmed..even before marriage and having our son I was just always on over load. I guess I just cant take on as much as others can. I really think it's wise not to compare though. That's just a good way to bring yourself down. Everyone is unique and has a different situation.

All I know is i've always been overwhelmed and I am still overwhelmed. It just seems that it would be wise to acknowledge the "facts" and call it quits on more babies.

As said before we dont finish school till 30 (minumum) and then we both need to through ourselves into our careers to work and pay back major student loans and hope to save for a house too some day. I just really feel by the time we actually can have kids we will be too old. (35 is my cut off) im not going past that. DS will be 18 when we are 40..i dont really want to raise two separate families.

What do all you experienced wise women think?
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